Behind The Mask by Helene Moore

BookReview.com gave me a good review.  My book was reviewed by Rod Clark and says in the last paragraph the following:

“As the new century opens and more and more of us are living longer, diagnoses of Alzheimer’s, dementia, and similar ailments are becoming more and more common–and stories like Helene’s and Howard’s are something that many of us are familiar with. However, knowing of the problem and living with it are two very different things. Few of us would face such a trauma with this much strength and dignity, and still fewer would have the courage to write a book like this and share it with the world. Kudos to Helene and Howard, and good luck to them both.”

Behind The Mask is every new caregivers story, their emotions, how they cope, and try to live every day with a smile. They don’t want to talk about it or complain. “They don’t want to be a burden to anyone.

The purpose of my book never came to light until after it was published.  My vision is for everyone to adopt a caregiver and give them some support, a little friendship, and something to look forward to. A simple email will do. Please share this with others, and do adopt a caregiver.

One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help. I need your help.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Caregivers have courage. I admire them and I salute them. I hope my adopt a caregiver program reaches as many caregivers as possible. One by one we can do this together.

Their stories are both heartbreaking and heartwarming. As caregivers open up to me I try to get those stories out. Then hopefully people will start to adopt a caregiver.

As more people understand what caregivers are going through, they will be able to put themselves in the caregivers shoes. A simple email is all it takes. Say, I’m listening, I’m caring, and I will continue to write and be your friend. It only takes a few minutes of your time, and I guarantee that it will be self rewarding.

I am writing to four caregivers now, and those who have read my book, Behind The Mask, now tell me they never knew how hard it was. That is because we never talked about it, never opened up, never showed our pain and depression. Everyone else was doing their thing, having fun, going places, and caregivers don’t always have that option.

One person can make a difference, with a little help.

Send a caregiver an email, and I will thank you for that.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Behind The Mask, my secret journal is now available on my website.

Calling All Caregivers

I am going to the knitting club this morning, one of my favorite ways to relax.

This weekend I am starting my new book adopt a caregiver. This will contain my stories when I was a caregiver, as well as stories told to me as I go around speaking to groups. I am constantly amazed at how everyone is wiling to open up to me and tell me their story. I think that is because they have never talked about it to anyone. Caregivers always keep it inside, not wanting to burden anyone.

My idea now is to have caregiver groups contact me, or at least the facilitator, the leader of the group. I have people asking me who they can adopt. I’m so happy ot hear they are willing to spend some time to adopt a caregiver. This is now my mission in life. Wanting to help the caregivers, who are so admirable in what they do. Most people do not have a clue how hard and lonely this job is.

Please comment, ask questions, your input is important.

Behind the Mask is my secret journal, now published so everyone can read  how a new caregiver feels. My thoughts and emotions are laid bare. This is the framework for adopt a caregiver.

Thank you for reading and

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Need to Adopt A Caregiver

Behind The Mask, is every caregiver’s story and now it is no longer a secret and the book is being read. People I know are coming up to me asking how they can adopt a caregiver. I would like all the caregiver associations to offer suggestions as comments on my blog. To help me to help them.

I have told people in my neighborhood to listen for new caregivers. I would like the caregiver group to contact me and give me some names that I personally can pass on to reliable people who want to participate in adopt a caregiver.

One day hopefully caregiver groups, doctors, nurses, hospices, high schools will contact me and we will get lists going. For those to need to be adopted, and those who want to adopt a caregiver. Just to write an email, to know someone can listen, offer a joke once in a while, just be there.

If anyone has information, or knows someone who needs a friend please contact me by email, and I will do the best I can finding someone to write to the caregiver. I know what it’s like for these people and as time goes by, their friends and family visits dwindle down to nothing. It’s very depressing, and hard work to be a caregiver. It’s a 24/7 job, a hard job watching someone you love, who looks the same, but is no longer the same.

The best advice ever given to me, “You have to live in their reality.”

Now What Happens

Where to go from here? Thinking about adopting another caregiver, thinking about running a caregiver group. God knows I know what these people are feeling. Just maybe my approach would be a bit different, maybe I could help them get through another day with a smile, or a request they do something for themselves. Read a sentence from a book that makes sense for them, send them an email joke that is funny and sweet, and maybe just for a moment they will forget the loneliness in their situation.

Behind The Mask is a caregiver’s story, it’s every caregivers story, but most of all, it’s my story. Each of us is different. Too many people have come up to me and said I never knew it was like that. That’s because caregivers don’t want to talk about it, they have to live it. They think their situation is unique, and most of all they don’t want to bother anyone.

Please adopt a caregiver. Let them know you care, you can listen, not judge, be there when they need a minute to talk.

It’s been a busy week, my Fibromyaalgia and chronic fatigue have been awful. I’ve been eating too much, doing too little. But listening has always been my strong suit. If you have lost a loved one, if you are going through a divorce, the feelings are the same. I was with someone going hrough a divorce, and she told me that she was eating too much and not caring how she looked, hadn’t bougjt anything new in ages, and I said to her, “I said all that in my book. I let myself go and that was an ugly realization. And I was losing my hair.”

The stress level takes it’s toll. But if my adopt a caregiver program comes to you, please make an effort to allow someone to adopt you. It might make a huge difference in your life since this person is not part of your family, in fact you may not know them at all. Give them a chance. and please send email or comments to me and i will try to answer each and every one.

Buy an autographed book and let me know your thoughts.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Every Caregivers Book

Behind The Mask is every caregivers book. It expresses all the feelings that caregiver have, but never talk about.

That’s why I want everyone to adopt a caregiver. I don’t want caregivers feeling alone, depressed, and thinking no one knows what they are going through.

I was asked today about finding a caregiver to adopt. Easy, do you know someone in your neighborhood? In your church or synagogue? Ask your doctor if he knows someone. One on one we can show caregivers that they are not alone, that someone does care and is willing to write an email once a week and just listen.

It will do you as much good as it does them. The lessons learned are invaluable. It takes courage to be a caregiver for Alzheimer’s Disease, or any disease for that matter. Let him/her know you are listening. It only takes a few minutes of your time.

I am so glad that I was able to take off my mask.

One on one we can make a diference.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Inspiration To Adopt A Caregiver

Behind The Mask is receiving many more interesting comments. Like, “Why didn’t you ever tell me you felt that way. I did not know.”

Truth is Alzheimer’s caregivers show a lot of courage facing this disease. They don’t want to burden anyone else, while they are overburdened themselves. I wish I could tell caregivers to write in a journal, I do think it helped me get through this very painful period of my life.  Behind The Mask is that secret journal, and I poured all my emotions into it. I felt the darkness like a cave, and I couldn’t claw my way out to the top where the light shined through. It was a devastating time for both of us.

While my heart cries for caregivers, I also salute their courage and their ability to smile for the world to see.  When you watch someone you love who looks the same, walks the same, but isn’t the same, you just go through the motions of life.

If you adopt a caregiver, you will be giving something back, and doing something wonderful for the caregiver. You listen, you don’t judge, you help this person smile when they don’t have anything to smile about. My four adopted caregivers are very vocal about how much they appreciate what I am doing. And it makes me feel like I am doing something for them.

One on one, we can make a difference, with a little help.

I hope I’ve inspired you to adopt a caregiver;  your life will never be the same.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Behind The Mask is available, signed, from my website. www.helenemoore.com

 

Bits And Pieces of Life

Small bits and pieces make up a life, or a day. It’s what you do, what you dream, what you don’t do.

The stitches came out of my finger yesterday, and now I can type on the computer. Felt good to do simple things, like wash my two hands. Couldn’t do that for two weeks. A strange feeling. Tomorrow I’m going to the knitting club at our center, but am not sure I can knit. But I will try.

A blog reader sent me a beautiful email; about how lonely and difficult being a caregiver is. She also said although the times were difficult, she would not change the lessons learned from this experience. Neither will I.

It taught me to be compassionate for those less fortunate than we were and how to live in the moment of every day. To be grateful for the sunshine, the laughter, the flowers and trees, and most of all for our family who were always there when we needed them. Love and kisses and strength and faith got us through those awful times.

I wish someone would ask me, “What do you see for the future?”

My answer would have to be, “I wish someday there would be no need for caregivers. I hope that people all over would listen to their hearts and give something back. I wish everyone would adopt a caregiver.” That would be my answer.

Fibromyalgia is alive and well in my body today, yet I felt the need to write.

This is the bits and pieces of my life today; with random thoughts, wishes, and dreams.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Write and let me know your bits and pieces.

Read Behind The Mask and know what it feels like to be a caregiver.

 

A Pleasure Speaking To You

Howard and I spoke to a most gracious and giving group of Kiwanis men and women last night.This group of volunteers made us proud to be Americans. I applaud each and every one of you for the work you are doing and I thank you for your warm welcome.

Maybe someday someone will applaud my adopt a caregiver program. Planting little seeds, one at a time will grow, and someday word of mouth will make my dream come true.

One person can make a difference, with a little help.

Thank you again for listening.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene 

Journals For Caregivers

Caregivers have asked me several times how can I find time to journal? Or to write a memoir about taking care of someone you love who is slipping away from you.

I do have one suggestion, and it can work for all kinds of writing.

Take a manilla envelope and write small phrases or a bit of a memory on a slip of paper and put it away in the envelope. When you have the time, and you can look at a slip from the envelope, you will remember that memory.

Remember to date everything you write, no matter what it is.

My book Behind The Mask was not written that way. I found the time to journal. But all my other wring stems from bits and pieces that I jotted down to remember a certain event.

I’m speaking to a group tonight, come back tomorrow to see how it went. It’s exciting gatting my word out about adopt a caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene