Behind TheMask by Helene Moore

August 29, 2008 By Leave a Comment

This is the first page of my book Behind The Mask.

“The Victim

The diagnosis is in. In the blink of an eye I become a caregiver. I am the one in charge, caring for someone who no longer can care for himself. The more he deteriorates the harder I will have to work, not only physically but to hide my emotions as well. To stuff away in a trunk all my tears, feelings, anger and hurt; not to be opened until we re separated by death. Then, and only then, will I be able to acknowledge what all caregivers know.

The death sentence for Alzheimer’s Disease is for two people. One is a prisoner of his mind, and the other is a prisoner of his soul.

I refuse to be a victim. I reject wallowing in self-pity or mournful depression. Instead I celebrate life with my family and my friends and vow to be fully alive in the moment.

The Reprieve

Seven years later, God’s plans have changed. I am no longer climbing that steep winding mountain. The disease has either slowed down or never materialized.

The strength of the mountain is within me. I am walking on level ground with peace and happiness and love.

I can handle whatever comes next with God’s help.”

What comes next is Adopt a Caregiver. I decided this is my new mountain to climb, my new road to travel. One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help. I am starting to get that help. Thank you.

If I planted a seed, it is growing.  Word of mouth is potent.

Let’s wipe away all the caregivers tears.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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What Is Adopt A Caregiver

August 28, 2008 By Leave a Comment

My secret journal, published as Behind The Mask, is every new caregivers story. So many times someone has stopped me and said, “That was exactly how I felt.”

After the book came out, and I held it in my hands, I realized I wanted to do something to help caregivers, all caregivers. I found out that the numbers of caregivers coming to support groups was dwindling. I found out that the caregivers were depressed, sometimes too tired to cry. I want to wipe away all their tears.

That is how Adopt A Caregiver came about. If anyone hears about a new caregiver, find out how to email them. Let them know you understand how they feel, what they are going through. If you don’t you can order my book from this website. Let them know that you are going to listen, going to write to them and let them vent. You will eventually develop a bond with this person, and the reality is, we really can stop their tears.

There are good resources available on line, some with tips, some with message boards.

Alzheimer’s Association, Mayo Clinic, Caregivers guide and next time I will add a few more.

As I speak to groups I am planting this seed, Adopt A Caregiver, and now I am watching it grow.  Thank you all for your help and support. Hope to have more information tomorrow.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helne

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How To Adopt A Caregiver

August 27, 2008 By Leave a Comment

I’m still learning all the ways to Adopt A Caregiver myself. Speaking to individuals and groups of people have inspired and motivated me to help caregivers find support and help.

Every community has someone who is a caregiver. Find out if they have a support group. Call them and tell them you want to Adopt A Caregiver. Explain to them exactly what that means. Ask your doctor if he knows someone who would benefit by your emails. Find out in church or synagogue, the caregivers are out there and they all need someone to listen and care without judging.

New statistics show that by 2010, which isn’t that far away, there will be a 38 % jump in Alzheimer’s Disease in Nevada since 2000.

The Lou Ruvo Brain Institute here in Nevada is a wonderful site to look at, they are doing great things and making huge strides in Alzheimer’s Disease.

Every day I hear stories that make my heart cry. Lets try to stop some of the tears.

I put two people together and I heard today that these two women had a phone conversation and it worked. Thank you so much. It’s so nice to hear a story that works out the way you would like to see it work out.

Hopefully in the near future, together with your help, we  will be able to connect more people together.

Let’s all Adopt A Caregiver. I have four.

Thank you Lisa for your kind words.

Keep love and kisses in your life Helene

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Author Signing Today

August 25, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Cheesecake and Crime is supporting local authors and today I signed my book, Behind The Mask there. Thank you for the opportunity to speak;  and your cheesecake is delicious. I met some wonderful people  today. Thank you all for coming and  listening.

If I planted a seed about my adopt a caregiver program, I’m happy. Word of mouth is potent and adopt a caregiver is so important to me. Caregivers are caregivers, 24/7, not only for Alzheimer’s Disease but all others as well. And caregivers are men, women and children. Don’t forget the kids. They too, are having a hard time and think no one understands what they are going through. Usually they are right.

If my book does nothing else, at least I know it helps everyone to understand what a new caregiver is going through. And that we do understand.

I believe in early diagnosis, and I’ve been reading that more younger people are being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. I also read there is about a 30% change since the early 2000′s if I can understand the statistics I’ve read.

It’s so important to keep the brain young. Write in a journal, it’s like writing a letter. Start with,  Dear Self and then talk and talk and write it all out. That is what I did, and yes, it did help.

Play scrabble on line, or any other game, anything that makes you think. Keep your brain young. Exercise it in any way you can.

I hope that word of mouth comes to your neighborhood, and that you will support my adopt a caregiver program. It is well worth the effort of writing an email and saying, I’m thinking about you, and I’m listening.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Word Of Mouth

August 22, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Word of mouth is potent! One by one we can help caregivers. All caregivers. If I can just plant a seed, and watch it grow, I will be happy.

There are caregivers everywhere. They are where you live, where you go to church, posting on the internet, hoping someone will listen to them.

I published Behind The Mask because it’s every caregivers story. No matter which disease, a caregiver is a caregiver, 24/7. I applaud and admire all of you. My heart cries when your heart cries.

Men and children are caregivers, they think no one can understand what they are going through. Mostly they are right. That is another reason I published my book, Behind The Mask.

More younger people are being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. We need to help them. If you know a new caregiver I would suggest giving them a journal and a bright colored pen, and tell them to get their emotions out on the page Do not stuff those emotions inside.

Please help me get my word out.

Adopt a caregiver; the rewards will be tremendous for both of you.

All you have to do is listen. Whether by email or phone, a plant, a small gift, something, anything to let them know you are thinking of them. Do not walk away from caregivers.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Book Signing At Cheesecake and Crime

August 20, 2008 By Leave a Comment

I forgot to mention that I am doing a book signing on Behind The Mask and talking about my adopt a caregiver program on

Sunday, August 24th at 2 p.m. at

Cheesecake and Crime  located on Eastern Ave and Horizon Ridge in the K mart shopping center, closest to Horizon Ridge. It’s an independent bookstore helping local authors with their books.

And their cheesecake is the best I have ever eaten, including Lindy’s in New York in the old days.

Hope to chat with you there.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Adopt A Caregiver

August 20, 2008 By 1 Comment

I spoke to a group of people today at our center. For me it was an amazing experience; no one asked any questions. They have my email address, and I hope to hear from they in the near future.

I hope I made myself clear and they now understand what I mean about my adopt a caregiver program. If nothing else I planted a seed in their minds. My message was received, hopefully they will take it home with them, digest it, talk about it, and then do something about it.

Behind The Mask is every new caregivers story. Standing in the new caregivers shoes gives insight into what the caregiver is thinking, how deep his/her emotions are and how helpless and hopeless they feel. Caregivers think no one understands their situation, and they don’t want to talk about it or be a burden to anyone. I wish I could buy a journal and a bright colored pen for all new caregivers, writing out their feelings helps, I know, because I did that. That is how Behind The Mask was written, and that is what makes it so powerful. I didn’t change the journal, I didn’t make it into a story, I just told it as it happened.

My passion for adopt a caregiver grows every day, and I will spend all my days making this happen. One person can make a difference, especially with a little bit of help. Your help.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Behind The Mask/Adopt A Caregiver

August 19, 2008 By 2 Comments

That is the subject of my speaking engagement tomorrow. I have no idea how many people will be attending, if any, but I am prepared to talk. My book, Behind the Mask is every new caregivers story, it just happens that I published it. It is still their story as well as it is mine. The every day up and down emotions are all on display. Since we had to keep our diagnosis a secret, I started a journal on my computerthat Howard could not see.

After they changed the diagnosis, seven long years later, I showed him my journal. It took me a few years to gather up my courage to do that. But I realized how lucky I was that he would be able to read it and know what I was talking about. That his mind was sharp. He loved it, said it was me and that I should publish this book.

After I held Behind The Mask iin my hands, I realized this book had a purpose.

And that is my adopt a caregiver program. Everywhere you go, at dinner, clubs, social events, doctor’s offices, community, wherever you are, there are caregivers. These people need a friend, someone to talk to. An email works, gives them something to look forward to.

Caregivers don’t want to be a burden, they don’t want to talk about it. They feel that no one understand what they are going through. Behind The Mask takes you on their journey. You can stand in their shoes and know how they feel, their loss, their anger, their love and the fact that the are willing to do this 24/7.

It is my understanding that support groups for caregivers is dwindling. I hope not. It is so important for caregivers to have an outlet. I suggest each and every caregiver buy a journal and a bright colored pen and start writing out their feelings. It does help. Sometimes I think it saved my life, when I didn’t want to burden my children with my thoughts.

Come back tomorrow,  and I will tell you the outcome of my talk.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Red Hat Women

August 14, 2008 By 2 Comments

To all the twenty-four women who came to my house yesterday to hear me talk about Behind The Mask, which is every new caregivers story, I loved having you there. My book creates more understanding about what caregivers are going through, which creates more thoughtfulness and compassion.

You listened, you questioned, you contributed, and I think you truly cared about my adopt a caregiver program, and for that I thank you with all my heart.

One by one we can get the word out, that all caregivers, not matter which diagnosis, need a friend, a boost, a joke, an email, something to brighten their day.

One thing I never made clear, you need the caregivers permission to start this friendship, explain to them how you heard about my program and what my vision is for adopt a caregiver.

My vision is simple. Some day maybe adopt a caregiver will be a non profit organization, maybe we will have pages where caregivers can leave their name, a little bit of their story, and then those kind people who are willing to give back will adopt them.

My first caregiver that I adopted, and back then, I didn’t realize I adopted her, but I’ve been writing to her since 1993. We are .. friends. We share of lives, send each other cookies sometimes and I listen to her vent. It’s been so long for her, since her husband is still alive, that I know in my heart she has given up her whole life for him, to take good care of him. And she does it unselfishly. But it’s been so long now, that most have abandoned her. I’m so sorry. She lives far away, about 3,000 miles.

My idea should start within our own community. Every community should have an adopt a caregiver program. You don’t have to join anything, give money to anyone, all you have to do is listen and when you hear someone is a new caregiver, reach out. They need someone.

Those Red Hat ladies were wonderful and I hope each and every one of them will tell someone else about my program. Actually, it’s everyone’s program. Thank you ladies.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Behind The Mask by Helene Moore

August 13, 2008 By Leave a Comment

We are home from California. Always good to see family. Making memories and hopefully to write them all down one day for my memoirs.

In the meantime, speaking to people, hoping they will adopt a caregiver. Tomorrow I am speaking to a Red Hat Group. Will let you know how that works out.

There are good messages and tips for those who would like to give something back and adopt a caregiver.

Looking at the MayoClinic.com and the Alzheimer’s blog is helpful, very helpful to understand what caregivers are going through along with the person diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

The Alzheimer’s Association message boards will give you insight on what to do, how to help, and then you can adopt a caregiver yourself.

My book, Behind The Mask, was written in secret. We could not tell anyone about the diagnosis, and that was the most difficult thing to do; keep it a secret.

Now that the book is available to everyone, I am convinced that this book was supposed to be published, and that adopt a caregiver would be the direct result of others reading my book.

I am busy jotting down notes for memoir, and also for Adopt A Caregiver, my next book.

Talk to you soon.

A signed copy of my book is available on my website: www.helenemoore.com

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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