Chronic Fatigue

October 20, 2008 By 1 Comment

For the last three weeks all I could do was sit in my recliner. Too tired to think, to knit, to write, to care about anything. It’s been a nightmare of lost days. Time I’ve lost due to complete fatigue. The last time I had it this bad was when I had Pneumonia several years ago.

Today was the first day I’ve felt almost human. Weak as a kitten, hard to concentrate, but at least up and out of the chair for a few hours. I did get to answer some emails, I filed some papers away, and tonight I am going to wash my hair.

Imagine being a caregiver and having Chronic Fatigue!!!

Support the caregivers. Adopt A Caregiver. All it takes is an email, or a phone call. Please help those who can’t help themselves. Word of mouth is so potent, lets get this journey moving into the right directions.

Too tired to talk more, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Keep love and kisses in you life. Helene

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Attention Teachers, Counselors, Principals

October 19, 2008 By Leave a Comment

To all teachers, counselors, principals. I think you know that school is a community. And there are caregivers in every community, including schools.

I have a suggestion for you. You all know who the caregivers are in your school. Help them find each other. They know that no one understands what they are going through, and they are right. Unless you stand in their shoes, you don’t know how alone, abandoned, and scared they are.

There may be siblings, parents, or grandparents in the house, and these kids are helping out; they are caregivers. Encourage them to journal, to find a friend in similar circumstances. They need help, emotional help.

It’s your community, it’s up to you. Tell them a friend sent you to them. I’m sending you to them, they need you.

How do I know these things? Because I was a caregiver in my teens, and I was a caregiver in my sixties. My book,  Behind The Mask chronicles my journey during the last time I was a caregiver. My story is their story. It’s every caregivers story.

After I published my book, I realized that if everyone would Adopt A Caregiver, we could help and support the caregivers of the world who are so busy helping others, they have no time for themselves. But they still have their emotions!

My new journey is to have everyone Adopt A Caregiver. It’s so easy to give back. Nothing to join, nothing to pay, no commitment, except to yourself. Help the kids, help the caregivers.

Keep love and kisses in your life Helene

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Out Of The Box

October 18, 2008 By Leave a Comment

This is something I wrote a while ago. I think it applies to all of us, including caregivers. Writing is good for the soul. It frees our mind, lets it soar, brings things to a natural conclusion.

This is one of my Reflections of Me that I wrote:

“The box is a metaphor of life. I used to be in a box, and no it wasn’t fun. Dwelling in the past dredges up old painful memories, and also some good memories.

But now, life is beautiful. No longer is my inner self hidden away in a box. I am free. Free to soar, to speak freely, and to make wonderful new memories.

I’m even free to be a kid again. To remember the good memories, few as they were at times.

I like the new me. My best qualities are still hanging around with my permission and those other qualities are allowed to come out and play, but under restrictions.

I try not to allow anger and mistrust to fill my days. Those thoughts fly in and are blown out gently but firmly. Instead I have the time to make each and every day a day filled with love and sunshine.

The box sits inside, empty, tied with a purple ribbon. I’d gladly give it away, but I need it to remind me of who I am, where I’ve come from and where I’m going.” by Helene Moore

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Caregivers And Community

October 17, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Caregivers are those who take care of people with diseases, strokes, heart attacks, anyone who does the job 24/7. They are men, women and children. They are the heroes of the home. I salute them and vow to try to make my words known all over.

Adopt A Caregiver.

Community. Everyone lives in a community or is part of a community. Homes are community, churches and synagogues are community. High rises in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles are communities, just ask any doorman.  If you are part of a poker club, a Mah Jongg Club, a book club, a travel club, a social club, this too is part of a community.

And in every community there are caregivers. Think about these people once in awhile. Think how they must feel. How alone, frustrated, how worried, how exhausted they must be. I try to urge every caregiver I know to journal their feelings and their thoughts. No one else has to see these words.

I wrote a secret journal when I was a caregiver. I later published it as Behind The Mask. I now call it every new caregivers story. I hear things like, “I showed my friend your book, and she called me from California and said, “‘Why didn’t you tell me how bad you were feeling?” She was crying.

Now my book has a purpose. Adopt A Caregiver is my new journey. And I will keep working at it, talking about it, speaking to groups about it, until everyone understands the desparate need for my Adopt A Caregiver program.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Today's Significant Event

October 15, 2008 By Leave a Comment

I received the nicest compliment today. One of my friends adopted a caregiver. She stopped to tell me that they were going to lunch next week. She invited me, but I had to decline. I would love to go with them, but my week is filled. I promised the next time I would go. How nice to be stopped and told that what you are doing is a wonderful thing. Giving back to people who really need a friend. Her eyes were sparkling as she talked. Thank you so much.

Also listened to a speaker today who is a writing coach, and editor. She’s a warm wonderful person, who likes to give back in her profession. She is someone who wrote a beautiful blurb in my book, Behind The Mask. Thank you Dr. Mary.

I’ve had some bad days lately, lots of Chronic Fatigue, and Fibromyalgia; a reaction from a shot has messed up my immune system. Chronic Fatigue is unrelenting. I am exhausted all the time.  Sometimes I can hardly keep my eyes open, or my mind functioning. It’s hard to think, and hard to write.

But better days are coming, and it’s one day at a time anyway. Tomorrow my friend is giving a luncheon, and I’m looking forward to seeing her. She is one terrific lady.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Adopt A Caregiver

October 14, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Did you adopt a caregiver today? Did you ask someone how they are feeling?

I felt lousy today, yet I thought about caregivers; they don’t have the luxury of feeling lousy. They still have to do everything they have to do, while I did nothing today.

I am no longer a caregiver, but I am supporting them in every way that I can. I am one person, but we all know that one person can make a difference. Word of mouth is potent. Together, we can do this. We can wipe away some of the caregivers tears, we can reach out and touch them with our email words and phone calls.

We can encourage them to vent, to write to make it all right. My secret journal became my lifeline. And when I published Behind The Mask, I knew it was Bershert! (meant to be) That Adopt A Caregiver would happen in every community. That’s where it starts in the community, your community.

Hugs to all the caregivers, I’m thinking about you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Emotions

October 13, 2008 By Leave a Comment

This is something I wrote during the time my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

“My emotions are on a crazy roller coaster and I’m spinning round and round. My vibes are whirling questions at me that I don’t want to answer. Climbing up to the top of the hill, a winding long road round and round the mountain.

Getting to the top takes courage and humor, vulnerability slows me down, but I keep climbing up and around, stepping into holes and on stones, slowing me down but I am determined to persevere.   One step up and falling down two, doesn’t matter, not important, just keep going, keep moving, keep breathing, only winners get to the top.

What is waiting for me at the top? I’ll never know unless I keep putting one foot in front of the other. And after I finally make it to the top, then I can tell you (others) about the journey.”

That was written years ago. My husband’s diagnosis was changed after seven years. I showed him my secret journal and later published it as Behind The Mask. It shows every emotion a caregiver goes through.

Now I’m on another journey. Adopt A Caregiver. I want caregivers to have support, friends to talk to. Journals to vent into. I want people to remember to ask not only how is the patient, but “How are you!”

Caregivers can feel trapped, no place to turn to. Help them out, support them, give something back. It costs nothing to send an email. Every community has caregivers. Find one and adopt a caregiver. This is my journey.

November is National Caregivers’ Month.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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I Want

October 12, 2008 By 1 Comment

I want to change the caregivers world.

I want to make everyone aware of what the caregiver is going through, that much of his/her life is gone.

I want to take away the stigma from Alzheimer’s Disease.

I want caregivers to talk, to vent, to journal, to open up so others will understand what they are going through.

I think that’s one reason I published my secret journal, Behind The Mask. Let the facts speak for themselves. My emotions, my guts are in that journal. T My book is every new caregivers story.

I want everyone to Adopt A Caregiver. I want every caregiver to have a friend, someone they can talk to, vent to, let them into their lives. It only takes an email, or a phone call. What do you have to lose; nothing. But you have everything to gain. Helping someone in pain, alone in their misery, giving something back.

Times are bad enough, don’t make them worse. Do something worthwhile. Adopt A Caregiver. Nothing to join, nothing to pay, just find a caregiver, they are in every community, and write them an email. Tell them I sent you.

If you are the caregiver, and someone emails you or phones you and asks, ‘Can I do something?” Open up, let them help. Keep a list by your phone and your computer. Tell them you need a joke, or a pretty picture. Or just someone to talk to for a minute.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Time To Be Grateful

October 11, 2008 By Leave a Comment

These are scary days, full of uncertainty, yet we are going to be all right. We are  thankful for our families, our friends, and that our country is free.

This is a time for hope. There always has to be hope.

One by one we will do all the things we have to do to put our country back on track.

And while we are doing this, remember the caregivers, every day for them is scary and full of uncertainty. Every day is hard, exhausting and full of stress.

Lets help them out, each one of us can Adopt A Caregiver, and give them some friendship, some hope.

There will be more and more caregivers as time goes on. I can’t help but think about all the kids who are caregivers, the ones who have to come home from school and help out. The ones who can’t go out with their friends or go to after school activities. They have no one to talk to; they know that no one else can understand what they are going through. Please think about them and if you have children, talk to them, explain to them that kids can be caregivers too, and they are going through hell.

Please leave your comments and I will answer them.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Journal Writing: A Reflection

October 9, 2008 By Leave a Comment

The longer I wait to write the more the ‘old news’ is devoid of feeling, like news print that is rubbed out and hard to read. The once powerful emotions are now like words coming out of a printer that is running out of ink, flat and blurred.

So why do I wait? Because I do not want to face myself on the page. Because I am happy each day is not a reminder of what may be coming. I can face today–tomorrow I’m not so sure. I’m always afraid that today’s smiles will turn into tomorrow’s emptiness.

My family is my life-line. The pull me up when I am sinking, and they reel me in when I get too far out. I know I will need them in my life while my life goes where it will, and I have to follow the path to see where I am headed. The uncharted territory is without a map. So it’s one day, one hour at a time.

This was written while I was still a caregiver, before they changed the diagnosis from Alzheimer’s Disease to AAMI (Age Associated Memory Impairment).

It is so important for the caregiver to vent feelings; his/hers doesn’t matter. It’s hard to get the feelings out, but some day you will be glad you did. As you look back on what you wrote, (and please do date everything), you will know what is was to feel deeply. It’s hard for caregivers to balance their lives. Writing in a journal is one of the biggest and best support systems I know. It works. My secret journal became my book, Behind The Mask, which is every new caregivers story.

I want to change the caregivers world. I want to take away the stigma of Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementia’s.  I want my Adopt A Caregiver program to be everywhere. Every community has caregivers, be courageous, be compassionate. Adopt A Caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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