Sorry, I can’t find what I wrote. And I didn’t save a copy of it. I’m so sorry.
It’s too late now, I’m too tired. I will write something in the morning.
I learned a valuable lesson tonight.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
Talk About Caregivers, But No Solutions
November 16, 2008 By Leave a Comment
There has been a lot written about caregivers this month in newspapers, because it is National Caregivers Month. I’ve read a lot about caregivers, but no one seems to talk about solutions.
I have a solution: It’s called Adopt A Caregiver. It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.
Here is two scenerios: one, everyone lives in a community or belongs to a community. Whether it is home, church, synagogue, school, hi rise building, social club. We all hear things. We hear that so and so just became a caregiver, and it’s such a shame. The shame is doing nothing!
All you have to do is reach out, be a friend, email, offer to listen to let them vent, let them know you won’t judge them, after all, you never stood in their shoes, did you? I did, that’s why I published my book, Behind The Mask. I was a caregive for my husband when he was suddenly diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease at age 63! And we had to keep it a secret.
So I started a secret journal, which no one saw. I poured my heart and soul into that jounal, after all, I had no one else to talk to.
Seven long hard years later, the doctor changed his diagnosis. God? Love and kisses? The wonder and magic of love? It all worked.
When I got up enough courage I showed him my journal, and he said publish it. And so I did, this year.
I stood in the caregivers shoes, I know what I’m talking about. These people are alone in ways you can’t imagine. They are scared, worried about the future, about big things, little things, everything.
The second scenerio is find someone who is a caregiver. Ask around, call a caregivers support group, tell them you want to Adopt A Caregiver, tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Give soemthing back. This should be the year of giving back, and it doesn’t cost anything!
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
Thrust Into Life Without A Life Preserver
November 15, 2008 By Leave a Comment
I wrote this the other day, about the time I was a caregiver. Maybe this will help someone, maybe this will make you think about supporting a caregiver. Adopt A Caregiver, and give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.
“Thrust into life without a life peserver. Coping, adjusting, denying, scared, knowing that he knows what is happening to him. He knows he is losing chunks of his memory, and I’m losing chunks of my self.
Watching his memory disintergrate, worrying about my alone time, going to Bar Mitzvah’s or weddings, going over names, the effects it will have on our family. Keeping it a secret is hard.
One second and your whole life changes forever and you are thrust into life without a life presever.
Suddenly you have to cope with denial, and readjusting your life. You’re are scared; he’s scared. Keeping this diagnosis a secret is hard, thank God for my journal.
But there was in the midst of all this pain one redeeming factor, and that was the time we spent together, special time, time to be alone, talking, holding hands, making love, kissing, touching, smiles just for each other, especially at his humor. That kept me smiling.”
Thank God, the diagnosis changed, but think about all the caregivers who are going through these hard, scary times and they are alone with their thoughts and emotions. Please help them.
Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them you friend Helene sent you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
A Better Poem
November 14, 2008 By Leave a Comment
This one is from Emily Dickinson (1830-1886). I received it from www.tenderlovingeldercare.com
“If I can stop one hert from breaking
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”
It speaks to my heart. If I can help one caregiver, and be his/her friend, and wipe away some the tears, I too, will no live in vain.
That’s why Adopt A Caregiver is to dear to my heart. It concerns every community, every household, every school, synagogue, church, social club, it affects everybody.
This is the gift that last forever, and costs nothing.
Be a friend, Adopt A Caregiver. I’m sure you know one. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
To All The Caregivers I Adopted
November 13, 2008 By Leave a Comment
Hello to all. I’m sorry that I’ve been too under the weather to keep in touch. I have missed talking to all of you. I am feeling better now, and will try to do better. Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, and get too far behind to catch up.
I hope my little silly poem made you smile yesterday. It made me smile, so I put it up here. I hardly ever write poetry, and yet I have about six or seven that I think are pretty good.
It seems I am getting back to writing more and that’s good. I have neglected it for a long time.
This is the end of the eighth week of Chronic Fatigue, the result of a shot. No more shots for me.
I hope to find more time to write to you, my friends, I really do miss you all.
Adopt A Caregiver is going well. Thanks to all of you who are spreading my word out there. Word of mouth is so potent, it works so well. Only when something is very very bad, or very very good, do people talk about it. You only hear about the wonderful new restaurant that opened, or the worst place in the world. You don’t hear about the in between things. I consider Adopt A Caregiver, very very good, so please do talk about it.
Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
A Short Poem
November 12, 2008 By Leave a Comment
Just something I made up yesterday. A little silly. A little bit me. A little bit true.
“We are old, we are cold
We squeak, we leak,
We’re old you see
As one day you will be.
But, still young at heart
Still making art
And so it seems
We still have our dreams.”
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
Adopt A Caregiver, tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver.
Three Things To Be Grateful For
November 11, 2008 By Leave a Comment
There are many more than three, but I’ll name the top three.
Husband, family, and Adopt A Caregiver.
Now that surprised me, I was going to say something else for number three, and Adopt A Caregiver just came tumbling out on the computer. It’s interesting how our minds work, isn’t it?
I gave an interview for a closed circuit TV in our Sun City today, maybe that was on my mind. Also writing has been on my mind, since I’m taking a Journaling Course for Caregivers, given by www.WritersAdvice.com. It’s been interesting, they know I’m no longer a caregiver, but it has given me lots of thoughts. About writing, about care giving, about not being a caregiver any more.
Many things in my life come back to: I want: I want to do a query letter for a writing book, I want to get Adopt A Caregiver some national attention, I want my journey of Adopt A Caregiver to be something everyone wants to do. I want to help the caregivers, wipe away some of their tears. I want the stigma to Alzheimer’s Disease to be gone. I don’t want to leave any caregiver all alone in their misery. I want to give them the attention they deserve and desperately need. They need a friend, can you be that person?
Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
Thank You
November 10, 2008 By Leave a Comment
I was thinking about the seven weeks I was caught up in Chronic Fatigue enough to almost be non-functioning. Thank goodness I was able to take care of myself, but I was wondering what happens if a caregiver gets sick???? Who takes care of them? No one wants to think about that, but someone needs to. They have to reach out for help. So see that you are someone they can count on. Adopt A Caregiver.
Adopt A Caregiver, and give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing! They need your help. Tell them your friend Helene sent you. Bless you all.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
Journal Writing
November 9, 2008 By Leave a Comment
Several people have asked me about writing in a journal. I tell them it’s pretty simple. You can start wtih a prompt like: I want to, but; I wish I could; I’m angry about; today I; or simply say, this day stinks because..
Pick an emotion and start writing. For instance I found myself a little bit angry today because I didn’t feel as good as I did yesterday. Once or twice I took that anger out on someone else, and I didn’t like myself for that. But it’s real. and that’s what makes it good writing, or good righting. Julia Cameron’s words not mine. But she is correct. writing can sometimes make something right.
If you get stuck on the page, just say I’m stuck and keep going. Usually you will find that once you start you might not be able to stop and that’s okay. This is especially good for caregivers. In fact it’s good for everyone. We all need to vent sometimes, somewhere safe.
My book, Behind The Mask, started out as a secret journal when my husband was suddenly diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 1993. We had to keep it a secret because of his work. Seven years later, they changed the diagnosis, and when I finally showed him my journal he said, get it published. It might help someone else.
Behind The Mask is every new caregivers story. After I published it, I realized it could help caregivers. Let others know what it’s like to stand in a caregivers shoes, what it feels like every day.
And so, Adopt A Caregiver was born. So easy to do, find someone in your community and contact him/her. Let them know you want to be their friend, and check in with them by email or phone. That is another way of venting.
November is National Caregivers Month.
Adopt A Caregiver, it’s the gift that last forever and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
Let me know how you make out.
How It Is Now
November 8, 2008 By Leave a Comment
Now, all these years later, I still have the same emotions, only it’s different. Now these emotions are for all caregivers. I imagine them going through all that I went through, and I want to help them past the rough spots.
Imagine yourself in the position of caregiver. Put yourself in their shoes; it doesn’t feel good, does it? No, it doesn’t.
I’ve ripped off my mask, but they can’t. The only way to help them is to get them to talk, to get it out, to vent, and we can offer support, encourage them to journal, or draw or do something they love to do.
Adopt A Caregiver. I want that to be on everyone’s list. It certainly is the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Just keep your ears open, find out who is a caregiver in your own community, school, church, synagogue, Mah Jongg club, Poker Club, and then offer to be their friend.
No, they won’t open up right away, but when they start to trust that you aren’t going to judge them, they might. That would help wipe away some of their tears. Don’t you want to help do that?
I do!
Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.
I am so grateful and feel so blessed that the Alzheimer’s Disease diagnosis no longer hangs over our heads. Now it’s time to give back. This is my new journey. Please help. Just Adopt A Caregiver.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
