Reflections Of 2008

It’s been a very interesting and busy year for me. In February my granddaughter got married, and my book came out; both the same weekend. In March my grandson got married and I started thinking about the purpose of my book, Behind The Mask. A secret journal started when my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 1993. It was secret because we were advised not to tell anyone, as he was still working, and highly functional.

In 2000 his diagnosis was changed and a few years later I showed my husband my journal. He said publish it, maybe it will help someone else.

A few years later I did publish it. And now I knew the purpose of the book. To show people what’s it’s like standing in the shoes of a caregiver. You don’t know about anything, until you do stand in someone’s shoes, and only then can you understand, truly understand.

In April of this year I started using Adopt A Caregiver in my blogs. In May I applied for a trademark, which I am still waiting for.

For the next several months, I met with and spoke to groups, all receptive to Adopt A Caregiver. Many of these people helped me, introduced me to other people who also became interested in my vision of wiping away some of the caregivers tears. We, my husband and I started a Non Profit Foundation.

In October and November, I was literally laid out for nine weeks from a severe bout of Chronic Fatigue which resulted from a shot.

Now as I look back over the year, I am proud of what I have done, and I feel that I have barely scratched the surface. I see 2009 as a huge stepping stone for my vision of Adopt A Caregiver.

I spoke at the Henderson Senior Center this morning, and I can’t tell you how much these wonderful people have done for me, and with me. Allowing me to speak at the center several times, helping me, supporting my vision and just being nice folks. Thank you so much guys, you all really got me started on my new journey.

It all begins in the community. Where you live, work, go to school, church, synagogue, all your social clubs, whereever you congregate with the same people, you hear things. You know someone has just become a caregiver, or someone is really lonely and depressed, and wishing they had a friend. Reach out, don’t hesitate, they need you.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.  Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Only you have the power to forgive yourself; care giving is a tough journey, don’t beat yourself up if you can not do everything yourself.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Caregivers: Live In Their Reality

One of the most valuable pieces of information I received after my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease was: You will have to live in his reality.

Those were the truest words I heard. I still tell caregivers that same advice. I know how hard it is, and yet, it’s also simple.

I was talking to one of my caregiver friends and we talked about it, and she said, “It doesn’t always work, but it’s still good information.”

Caregivers, you are my heroes. No one else can or would do the job you do 24/7. How I admire you and your tenacity, your ability to carry on. That’s not to say you never get depressed, or feel like you are all alone, and no one understands. They don’t. It’s that simple. Unless you actually stand in someone’s shoes you don’t know how they feel, or what they are going through.

I think that’s one reason I finally decided to publish my secret journal. To show others what it feels like, the thoughts and emotions going through a new caregiver’s mind. Now, I’m so glad I did publish it.

Tomorrow I’m speaking at the Henderson Senior Center, and I’m looking forward to it. They are the greatest bunch of people, giving, caring and open. The kind of heroes no one talks about. They are always behind the lines.

After that we are meeting old friends from Howard’s hometown of Baltimore, MD for lunch, what a treat that will be. I don’t think we’ve seen them in decades. A chance encounter with their daughter who works here and we found out we knew her parents. What a small world.

As this year is coming to an end, I feel blessed in all that I have accomplished. I publsihed my book, Behind The Mask, so people could stand in the caregivers shoes and know what it feels like, and hopefully that will inspire them to go out and Adopt A Caregiver. I’ll talk more about that tomorrow night.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

What I Learn From You

Every day I learn something new, mostly from people who email me or contact me in some way. I know how my caregiver friends are feeling, and I wish I could change some of what they are going through. They are mostly alone, or feel like they are alone.

I am speaking at the Henderson Senior Center on Tuesday morning, and I am counting on some of their seniors to come to the rescue of some of the caregivers I hear from. That’s the way Adopt A Caregiver works, one on one, so they can become friends. someone to share with, someone they know who does care.

I will start speaking to groups again, and word of mouth works for me. It’s potent, and the seeds get planted.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life.

Resolutions? Or Affirmations

Only a couple of days left in this year. Most of the time I write myself a few New Year’s Resolutions. They always say the same thing, eat less, diet more, exercise, write every day, take time to meditate, write to friends more often, and every year I ignore them all.

So, I’m heavier, eating more than I should, not doing exercise, writing when I feel like writing, and keeping in touch with friends most of the time.

This year will be different. I promise myself that I will do exactly what I want to do, when ever I can and that I will be more productive by not beating myself up about some of the things I don’t get done. I’m just me. I always tell my husband that. He smiles and says, “You are the best, inside and out.”

While I love getting compliments, I worry about some of my friends. Many are going through rough patches. I would love to Adopt A Caregiver every day, but there are only so many hours in a day. I promise my friends I will do everything in my power to make Adopt A Caregiver known, so that others will say, “I want to Adopt A Caregiver.”

To my friends who are going through depression, and I have been there too, I say, try to limit it. In other words, give it a time frame. Say I’ll only let myself be depressed for three days. I used to do that, and most of the time it worked, sometimes it didn’t, but I did not get upset. I knew that I did the best I could under the circumstances.

May I suggest that you try journaling? It literally saved my life. I mean that.  My secret journal that became a book this year. Behind The Mask is my guts, my thoughts and my emotions, and I laid it all out there for the world to see.

One grandson said, “I haven’t cried this much since I was fifteen, and I’m only on page 17. My daughter said, it’s a bi disconcerting to read about your parents sex life in print. And another grandson said the whole story was amazing. Another grandson said, Pop Pop wasn’t that young in 1993, guess we kids have good sex genes.” And my amazing granddaughter did the cover of the book eve while she was crying.

Remember, you have to stand in someone’s shoes before you know what they are going through.

Three things I am grateful for today. My granddaughter made an unexpected visit from California. My husband said he’s going to support me all through my Adopt A Caregiver journey, and I know I am dedicated to my cause. I promise to do all I can do for Adopt A Caregiver to become nation wide, and people will listen, and they will Adopt A Caregiver.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them you friend Helene sent you.

Love and kisses Helene

My Vision For Adopt A Caregiver

My vision is to inspire communities to join together to Adopt A Caregiver.

Or:

I see community leaders in the entire country inspiring members to Adopt A Caregiver.

Or:

If every community becomes aware that there are caregivers in their midst, and we inspire them to Adopt A Caregiver, we will be supporting their mental health and well being, as well as becoming their friend.

Which one do you like? Please comment and let me know.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.  Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Come Out To Play (My Poem)

I wrote a poem a while back, and it’s called, Come Out To Play and it goes like this:

Come out to play.

I can’t

Why not?

I have homework and chores to do.

Come out to play

I can’t

Why not?

I have to take care of my sister and make dinner.

Come out to play

I can’t

Why not?

I have to work and take care of my children.

Come out to play

I can’t

Why Not?

I have to help my husband, I have to work and take care of my children.

Come out to play

I can’t

Why not?

It’s too late, I”m too old. I fogot how to play.

(C) Helene Moore

Happy Holidays

Dear Readers,

Have a safe, warm, happy holiday. I wish you well. I wish you blessings and faith and hope.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Caregivers, You Are Number One

Yes, you are number one and that is as it should be. You need to treat yourself gently. Give yourself a break, don’t knock yourself down. It’s hard enough, without you thinking negative thoughts. I know it’s difficult, but try to make an effort.

Today I am grateful for my Anthem Authors Meeting, we only had nine attend, but we all read something. I am grateful to know such talented, interesting and really nice people.

Today, I am grateful for my new Hanukkah gifts, I love them. A cuddly throw, a beautiful big bag, (to carry books) a sweet smelling soap, and a picture of my granddaughter and her new husband. What more can anyone ask for?

Today, I am grateful that my Chronic Fatigue has eased up to the point that I can function again.

Today, I am grateful for my husband, who did so many errands yesterday and today did paperwork all day, my family who continue to call long distance at least 5 times a week. I am very blessed!

Today, I am grateful that the winds stopped, and the sun came out. Even though my Fibromyalgia body hurts, I’m smiling.

Today, I am grateful for all the good friends I have made on line. And those who chose me because they believe in my vision for Adopt A Caregiver.

Today, I vow that I will write to all the people who have emailed me at my blog, or bought my book and I will send thank you notes to many of them. I won’t do this today, but will do it over the next few days.

What are you grateful for?

What do you want to happen?

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

If you don’t know how a caregiver feels, read my book, Behind The Mask.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Caregivers, We Do Care

Dear Caregiver,

I know this is a hard time of year for most of you. It must seem like everyone else is out shopping, having a good time, making a big family dinner; and there you are home alone. I’m so sorry, I know what it’s like to stand in your shoes. I’ve been there, and although my husband’s diagnosis was changed in 2000, I still feel for all caregivers. Only someone who has stood in your shoes, can feel your pain.

If you can, try to take a few minutes, some part of the day, and just sit and watch the outside, or meditate for five minutes, or take a coloring book and crayons and color outside the lines. Write down three things you are grateful for, start a journal, write a letter to your self. Tell yourself how wonderful you are, what a admirable person you are, tell yourself that you are strong, that you can handle whatever comes along.

Start a memoir, write about the good times; or use a recorder and just talk about your life. Someday your kids and your grand kids will see you as you were, a young person, with your dreams and your goals and your passion. They will admire you and look up to you, see how much you have contributed in your lifetime.

I admire you, and I hope that one day my vision for Adopt A Caregiver will become a reality. Someday we might have an Adopt A Caregiver day to celebrate all caregivers.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

I'm Home

It was wonderful seeing all the kids and grandkids this weekend, but it’s also great being home in our own bed. The trips get harder as we get older, but we will keep doing it as long as we can.

This is a slow time of year for reading blogs I’m sure, so I will spend some time formulating my plans for Adopt A Caregiver. I will share them with you, because they are so simple in my mind’s eye.

Everyone lives in a community, everyone needs to know who is a caregiver, and take some responsibility to see that somene will write to them, be their friend, share their life with them and help them out by just being there. All it takes is an email. Encourage the caregiver to write, to vent, to talk. Many of these people are so alone, and even with a wonderful attitude about life, they are still alone.

In the next couple of weeks, I hope to write to all those courageous men and women  who have written to me and shared their story, or just told me that Adopt A Caregiver is a noble and worthwhile effort. I will not let you down.

At some point, I’d like to talk to Mayors, builders of homes who have Directors of Activities, clergy, teachers, councelors, therapists, assisted living directors, national organizations, anyone who can help me impliment my Adopt A Caregiver plan. It’s not that hard. I need to make everyone aware.

You must stand in someone’s shoes before you can understand what they are going through, and I can help explain that, either by talking to the group, or they can buy my book, Behind The Mask. We all need more compassion. Smile, be friendly, don’t look the other way.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene