Apology To A Caregiver

January 17, 2009 By 1 Comment

Please forgive me for not following up on my own advice to Adopt A Caregiver. There you were far from home stuck in a hotel room while your wife lay in the hospital in critical condition. I imagine you were frustrated, lonely, worried and alone.

Please forgive me for not following my own advice to Adopt A Caregiver. I’m going to try to contact you this week, and find out how you really felt. I hope you will open up to me and vent, and tell it like it was for you during those very long weeks, or maybe it was more than a month, I’m not sure.

I published Behind The Mask, so everyone would know what it feels like to stand in a caregivers shoes, hoping then they would go out and Adopt A Caregiver in their own community.

Remember, community is where you live, work, play, and go to school, church or synagogue. It’s all a community. I will be talking to high school kids soon, and I will let you know how that works out too. I know there are kids in school who are caregivers, and my heart goes out to them. They think no one understand what they are going through, and they can’t come out to play with ther friends. How alone and lonely they must feel.

We have to change that. Caregivers are to be admired, not shunned.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Caregiver Study

January 16, 2009 By 1 Comment

If you live in the Henderson or Las Vegas area in Nevada, UNLV is doing a study that will hopefully help with identifying how caregiver burdens affects the body, and how caregivers feel. The caregiver participant will need to be caring for an elderly parent or spouse who is at least 60 years old.

Blood will be drawn by a nurse who is part of the research team and you will need to complete three questionnaires, a process that should take no longer than 30-35 minutes. The title of this project is

“The biological and physiological response to a caregivers burden.”

If you are interested in participating, please call Michele Clark, RN, PhD, at UNLV. Her phone number is 702-895-5978 or email her at

michele.clark@unlv.edu

This will turn out to be an important study that will help caregivers.

We all want to help the caregivers. In the meantime, give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing, Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Busy Day

January 15, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Busy, busy day. Computer guy here, tv. guy here and our closed circuit tv. station did a shoot in my house today for Valentine’s Day. We have a beautiful kissing couple collection.

So, hopefully both internet and email is fixed, along with the T.V.

I am grateful today for the sunshine, warmer weather, the ability to make people smile, to feel okay. Just to be alive and know that somewhere out there I am making a difference.

I hope I am making a difference in someone’s life. Adopt A Caregiver is a wonderful plan, a simple plan that works. Every community has caregivers, and you who live in that community probably know these people, so wouldn’t it be just great if you emailed them and became their friend. They need someone to talk to, to vent to, to hear what they are going through without judging them.

If you don’t know what it’s like to stand in a caregivers shoes, my book, Behind The Mask is perfect reading. Available on this website and Amazon. I let all my thoughts and emotions loose in my secret journal.

Please help me spread my word. Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Tomorrow: A Better Day

January 14, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Computer internet problems for the past month, t.v. problems for the last couple of weeks, makes for a frustrating day. I tried not to let it get me down, but sometimes it does gets to me.

And then I went to my AA meeting, (that’s Anthem Authors to you) and it was a terrific two hours. Hearing other people’s advice on how to conduct our writing year, whether or not to critique and how, written rules, no more than ten; i.e. what is said in this room stays in this room, unless you have the consent of the author, be polite while another is reading, we will have assignments sometimes, things like that. I love it.

I should, I started AA in February of 2000, and in February of 2008, I self published my book, Behind The Mask, a secret journal written when my husband was suddenly diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and we were advised to keep it a secret.

By the time we were sure that diagnois wasn’t going to happen, and the doctor agreed, taking him off all the Alzheimer’s medicines, I showed my husband my journal. He insisted I publish it.

I did. How proud I am that now I have started my Adopt A Caregiver Foundation, all because of my book. How else would anyone know what it’s like to stand in a new caregivers shoes? And standing in a caregivers shoes, how could you not want to help them, to wipe away some of their tears, to be their friend.

Encourage them to journal, write down some memories, happy one, ones to tell their children and grandchildren, because when you are gone, they won’t have anyone to answer their questions. And why should they only see you as you are now? They should know what you were like when you were young, their age, what you went through and how you came out a better, stronger, more compassionate person.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Caregivers: Tell Me What You Want Me To Do For You

January 13, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Dear friends and caregivers,

Please advise me as to what you would like to see happen with Adopt A Caregiver? How can I help? What can I do? I am looking for answers from you, the caregiver.

As for me, I’m trying to spread my words, plant the seeds for Adopt A Caregiver. I am  speaking again to groups, and find they are so helpful, so talk to me as soon as you can.

In the meantime, know that I’m doing everything in my power to start communities thinking about Adopt A Caregiver programs. It’s so simple, everyone in a community (where you work, live, and play is a community) knows someone who is a caregiver. Please know these people would love to have you for a friend. Someone to talk to. Sometimes caregivers are so alone, so isolated, so lonely and depressed, yet their attitudes are wonderfully alive and vibrant. I wish they all would start to write their memoirs, or their loved ones memoirs. Think of the stories we can give our children and grandchildren. They only see us at the age we are now, not as we were at their age. Think about that for a moment.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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A Lazy Sunday

January 12, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I couldn’t get on the internet last night from 10 p.m, till my neighbor came over this morning around 11 am. and he got it up and running. I’ve had three service calls in the last month about this, and it’s still not fixed. So I made myself a list of phone calls for tomorrow, and Cox Cable is first on the list.

Ironically, our tv’s weren’t working and my husband went next door to watch the football game.

So, what did I do all day? I did some knitting, which takes time, especially in the beginning. Rolling the wool into a ball, casting on lots of stitches, things like that. I am making myself a scarf with pockets, which means I am doing a pattern, which means I have to concentrate; and I’m making mysef a sweater, easy, don’t have to concentrate yet. Not until I get to the neck, easy. I like easy.

I wrote to a couple of caregivers when the computer was working; that always makes me feel good. Most of them are so happy to hear from me. (or anybody)

I’m asking my caregiver friends, what can we do to help? Please comment here, so when I speak to groups I can include your thoughts on the subject of Adopt A Caregiver.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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A New Year Message

January 11, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I did not write this, but whoever did knows the real meaning of life. Has nothing to do with Christmas. Count your blessings. Write your grateful list.
Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN
This is on e of the nicest e-mails I have seen; had to include, felt it was a wonderful Christmas message:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ‘This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.’
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting ou t petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, ‘This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.’  I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. ‘This is the Acknowledgment Section,’ my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed ‘How is it that there is no work going on here?’ I asked.
‘So sad,’ the angel sighed. ‘After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.’
‘How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?’ I asked.
=0 A

‘Simple,’ the angel answered. Just say, ‘Thank you, Lord.’
‘What blessings should they acknowledge?’  I asked.
‘If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy .’
‘And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.’< FONT face=Arial color=#003300 size=2>
‘If you woke up this morning with more health than illness … you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .’
‘If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation … you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.’
‘If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world ‘
< B>‘If your parents are still alive and still married ….you are very rare .’
‘If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.’
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
ATTN: Acknowledge Department:
‘Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.’

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Ready For The Weekend

January 10, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I’m ready for the weekend. It’s my catch up time to do all the things I didn’t do during the week. And it was a nice week. Had a chance to talk to our Mayor’s Chief of Staff and give him a book and a copy of my vision plan.

I am reading a terrific book and I am knitting. I’m almost finished with a hat I knitted for my husband. It’s still chilly here in Vegas.

Got a good doctor’s report today, and at my age, that’s always a good thing. After all, I’ve got things to accomplish this year. I said I thought this would be a good year.

I hope the economy gets turned around, many of us are hurting. We must do our part to help.

My husband is rooting for the Baltimore Ravens..we were Baltimore Colt fans for so many years. It’s a shame the name Colts didn’t stay with the city. It’s not the end of the world.

I intend to connect with my caregiver friends this weekend, either by phone or email. I hope it helps them to hear from me.

My computer was out earlier, so I am writing late tonight.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Grateful List

January 9, 2009 By Leave a Comment

As I look forward to 2009 and having Adopt A Caregiver become a reality, instead of just my vision, I realize how grateful I am for everything in my life. In these uncertain times, I am totally proud to be an American, and I hope that pride in our country returns, and that morality once more becomes more prevelant.

In the meantime, I’ve said before, I like lists. So here’s another grateful list.

I am grateful that I am able to sit here at my computer and talk about Adopt A Caregiver, and that today I met the Mayor’s Chief of Staff and gave him one of my books. The sun was shining today, which makes me feel better, my husband took my car in for service, and when he picks it up tomorrow he will gas it up for me. You think that’s not such a big deal? I come from the East Coast, and it was illegal to pump your own gas. I never really learned how.

I am grateful that I am seventy seven years old and still have a dream! And a goal! I am thankful for the help I am getting from around the country, and from you, my readers.

I am thankful that I am able to speak to local groups, and give interviews, one of which will be airing soon. Stay tuned, and I will let you know on Monday, whether or not you can tune in to see me speak.

I am warm well fed, spoiled by my husband, my daughter and granddaughter call every day, I like to read and knit and write on my blog.

I never know what I’m going to say when I sit down to write, most people would say that’s the wrong way to do it. Even I think it’s wrong. As a writer, I should be writing a draft, and editing it and trying to make it better, more coherant, more interesting, but, what you see is what you get. Me. I am only me; I keep telling my husband that I am only me. He says, “Thank goodness.”

I am blessed, I am spoiled, and I appreciate life with all it’s ups and downs. The good, bad, and the ugly, and believe me I’m no different than you are. I have all of the above too.

I believe that is is going to be the year that Adopt A Caregiver becomes a reality, one that all communities will adopt within themselves.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Listening

January 8, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Listening is definitey an art, a lost art. Everyone is waiting to get their two cents worth in, so they are no longer listening to the talker.

The only New Year’s Resolution I made this year was to advance Adopt A Caregiver in any way I can, and to spend the year working passionately and diligently in planting the seeds for communities to understand there are caregivers in their midst who need someone to befriend them.

The only other resolution I made is to really listen when someone is talking. Listening to the words, reading between the lines, and understanding where the person is coming from.Times are not easy these days, and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get better immediately, so try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you make your comments.

I read all my emails from caregivers and try to answer each one of them. I try not to give platitudes, but genuine affection and admiration for all they do.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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