Journal Writing: A Reflection

The longer I wait to write the more the ‘old news’ is devoid of feeling, like news print that is rubbed out and hard to read. The once powerful emotions are now like words coming out of a printer that is running out of ink, flat and blurred.

So why do I wait? Because I do not want to face myself on the page. Because I am happy each day is not a reminder of what may be coming. I can face today–tomorrow I’m not so sure. I’m always afraid that today’s smiles will turn into tomorrow’s emptiness.

My family is my life-line. The pull me up when I am sinking, and they reel me in when I get too far out. I know I will need them in my life while my life goes where it will, and I have to follow the path to see where I am headed. The uncharted territory is without a map. So it’s one day, one hour at a time.

This was written while I was still a caregiver, before they changed the diagnosis from Alzheimer’s Disease to AAMI (Age Associated Memory Impairment).

It is so important for the caregiver to vent feelings; his/hers doesn’t matter. It’s hard to get the feelings out, but some day you will be glad you did. As you look back on what you wrote, (and please do date everything), you will know what is was to feel deeply. It’s hard for caregivers to balance their lives. Writing in a journal is one of the biggest and best support systems I know. It works. My secret journal became my book, Behind The Mask, which is every new caregivers story.

I want to change the caregivers world. I want to take away the stigma of Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementia’s.  I want my Adopt A Caregiver program to be everywhere. Every community has caregivers, be courageous, be compassionate. Adopt A Caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene