Visions of me in high school brings back such unhappy memories. My sister, who still smelled everything, got into all my things. I had started a diary, and wanted to write a story, but she was always pulling out my things, clothes, papers, and kept looking at them.. My writing career was over before it ever began. I was painfully shy, and didn’t want anyone to laugh at me or what I had written.
My mother, confident, beautiful, outgoing was everything I was not. I felt pathetically insecure, that nothing I did ever turned out right.
At this time the fighting between my parents was at it’s worst. My sister, we now knew, was smelling everything because she couldn’t see! We were so close, we never realized how bad it was until she started school. Her glasses were like coke bottles.
But, for me, the real tragedy was that I retreated more and more into my shell. It became evident in school that I was daydreaming, not paying attention, and my grades were failing. I burst out crying in the classroom more than once, for no reason. No teacher, guidance counselor, friend tried to help. I kept it all bottled up inside until it came pouring out.
I did the best I could, but I knew in my heart I had to get away from my home situation. I admit I took the coward’s way out.
I confronted my Mom one day and asked her, “Do you want me to have a nervous breakdown, or will you allow me to quit school.?”
Sadly, her eyes overflowing, she said, “Yes, I give you permission to quit school.”
I left the eleventh grade and got myself a full time job.
By this time, we both knew college was out for me. Something I had looked forward to all my life.
Keep love and kisses in your life and
Adopt A Caregiver. Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing.
Until next time: My First Job