People You Meet

December 12, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Sometimes we meet people who change our lives. We bond instantly, we have the same values, goals and vision. I’ve been so fortunate to meet so many of these people since I started writing my blog. It’s part networking, part caring when reading others stories, and part just meant to be. (Bershert) I was with two of those people yesterday, and the good feelings have stayed with me all day today.

I’ve done a few good deeds. Written to a few service people and told them, thank you for keeping us free. I’ve written to a little girl who is doing a school project and I am trying to finish my year end letters so I can mail them before we leave for California on Wednesday.

I have been thinking about the holidays. What part of our population will be spending holidays alone? More than we know, I’m sure. Do we know someone who is alone, divorced, widowed, or a caregiver?  Someone who is sick, someone who needs a friend. A phone call once in a while would be helpful. Or a card. Or a visit.

Just giving you something to think about.

In the meantime, give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver. Tell them your fried Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life Helene

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Communities Come Together

December 9, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Adopt A Caregiver. Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Yes, my dream, my vision, but so attainable. One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help.

How can you help? Use your community. What is a community? A community is where you live, where you work, where you go to school, where you play Mah Jongg, Poker, Golf, cards, where you congregate for work or fun.

There are men, women, and children who are caregivers. They think no one understands what they are going through. That’s true, you never really know, unless you stand in their shoes. I think that is one reason I published my book, Behind The Mask. It’s one woman’s secret account of her thoughts and emotions and  love for her husband. I hope it helps others understand what a caregiver is going through.

They don’t want to talk about it, they don’t want to be a burden, they don’t want you to see them cry. Most of the time, they don’t cry, they don’t vent, they don’t get their emotions out. All they do, is care for someone 24/7. Put yourself in their shoes one time, think about them.

There are caregivers in your community. Find them, befriend them, don’t judge them, let them vent, encourage them to journal, or talk, or cry.

There are more and more younger people being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and other dementia. There is a stigma attached to Alzheimer’s Disease. I want that to disappear. I want to wipe away the tears and make life more pleasant for the caregiver.

Please help. How long does it take to email someone? A moment of your time, will give someone a lift knowing that someone is there to listen and to care.

I care! I want you to care too!

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Adopt A Caregiver

December 7, 2008 By Leave a Comment

I spent this morning in our center during their annual Art and Craft fair. Anthem Authors had a few tables, and I sat at one with my books, talking to people, and giving out my brochures on Adopt A Caregiver. I hope they read over the brochure and come to my website and read about Adopt A Caregiver.

Everyone loves the idea. I just have to reach more people and get them started in their own community to find the caregivers, then to follow through and email them, phone them, become their friend and confidant. Just be their friend.

Thinking about gifts this time of year. Well, give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Thank you to all my new friends I’ve made here at my blog, I know you care also.

One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help. Can you help me? This is my new journey, my vision and my dream. I know it will make a difference in a caregivers life.

Three things I am grateful for today: you are reading my blog, I was able to talk to people about my program to Adopt A Caregiver, and that I have more energy this week, than the last 10 weeks. I am smiling, hoping to help every caregiver and wipe away some of their tears.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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I Believe

December 6, 2008 By 1 Comment

I believe no matter what happens, everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes what is happening is too cruel to think that way. Death, divorces, children dying, diseases making caregivers who have to give up just about everything to take care of someone else. Life is not fair. I’m glad my mother told me that as a child. And it’s true, life is not fair. Sometimes we don’t get to choose the road, sometimes we get stuck in a box that feels like a prison.

I believe in Synchronicity. If we pay attention to our lives, there is a lot of Synchronicity going on. Synchronicity is when you are thinking of someone and they call. Synchronicity is like a couple of weeks ago, I was reading the sequel to The Gold Coast, and the sentence had to do with pirates and a ship in Somalia. I looked up at the mute tv and there it was flashing the alert. Pirates had kidnapped a ship in Somalia. Sometimes it can be scary, sometimes it’s an unusual word, something we don’t hear very often, and boom, there it is again.

We can stay stuck in a box, or we can be open to all possibilities. When I wrote my book, Behind The Mask, I mentioned that something happened to me during an Alzheimer’s luncheon. That feeling was so strong, every hair on my body stood up, and I knew, just knew as if something or someone hovered over me and told me, there was something I had to do.

I didn’t know what that was. Not until this year when I published my secret journal. It was something Bershert. (meant to be) And that was to help the caregivers. It took fourteen years!

And Adopt A Caregiver was born. I know in my heart that this is a wonderful idea. My vision for the future is looming closer all the time. I’m still going slowly, but it will come. Word of mouth has been terrific, and soon there will be articles and newsprint and possibly tv..the possibilities are endless.

I am out of the box, I am open to Synchronicity, I am aware, and most of all, I feel ready.

It’s the time of giving. Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing.

Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Nobody Adopted Me

December 5, 2008 By Leave a Comment

I wrote this a while back, but it’s so important that I am repeating it now.

“Nobody Adopted Me

Where were you when I had no one to talk to, when I need to vent, when I needed a shoulder to cry on? Where were you when I tried to smile and couldn’t? Where were you when I was too depressed to function?

I needed you, but  you were off with friends and clubs, too immersed in your activities to think of mine. Where were you when I needed you and everyone else deserted us?

This is how caregivers feel. This is what I want to change, and why I want everyone to Adopt A Caregiver. Plant this seed and it will grown by word of mouth.

Love and kisses Helene”

If you want to stand in a caregivers shoes for a little while, read my book, Behind The Mask, available on my website. My story is every ne caregivers story.

This is the season for giving.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.

To the lady in Israel who read my blog, I hope you will get others to read it also. Adopt A Caregiver works anywhere in the world. Tell them your friend Helene sent you

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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What Do You Want?

December 4, 2008 By Leave a Comment

I’ve said what I want: I want to wipe away the caregivers tears, I want to be able to provide every caregiver with a new friend, someone who will be willing to Adopt A Caregiver.

I wish you could get a massage, I wish you could walk in the park, I wish you could have a couple of hours for yourself, to nap, write, or read, or just do nothing. I wish you could be alone with your thoughts. I wish I knew more ways to help you. I’m trying, honest I am.

So, what do you want? will you tell me? I would love to hear your thoughts, your wishes, your dreams and your goals.

Yes, your life changed, but in everything you can find some good. Be grateful for the things you do have. Think positive, have a great attitude and know that you are strong, and that you are loved.

I never know what I’m going to say until I sit down at the computer. I hope all of you out there will gain some comfort in just knowing someone IS thinking about you. I promise to try my best.

I know my vision and my dream can become a reality. To me, it’s so easy. I do have a plan. I just need some help. I’m willing to start slow. Word of mouth has been potent, and I’m so grateful. People are starting to plant the seeds for my Adopt A Caregiver program.

Someone from Israel asked to show my poem that I wrote on this blog the other day. So I am starting to get readers from all over the world. Isn’t that great.

The more who know, the more they can help.

Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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When You Touch Me

December 3, 2008 By Leave a Comment

If you remember I told you I took a Journaling for Caregiver on- line course several weeks ago. This is one assignment I wrote; When You Touch Me.

“Every time we touch I am reminded how blessed we are rthat we are still so much in love after 56 years of marriage. If only everyone could find what we have we’d be living in a better, more compassionate and loving world. Where each person takes responsibility for his actions and knows that every action brings a reaction. And there are consequences for our actions. Why have we lost that as a nation?

But I just want to talk about us. I said in the beginning we were blessed, that’s not to say we didn’t work on our marriage or that we didn’t have plenty of ups and downs- believe me, maybe more ups and downs than most. But at the same time we made it work. And it was hard work, going through a personal bankruptcy when we had three children ages 13, 11, and 8. That wasn’t easy . We made the best of it, and the kids helped, working along side us whenever they could. Through it all our love shone through.

We have through the awful scare of Alzheimer’s Disease and for seven long years we went through hell. Me, as the caregiver, and Howard knowing he was losing chunks of his memory. But we were together.

Today our life is so different, yet the same, even better. Our love affair is stronger, more loving. I receive a love note every morning, Howard makes me coffee and helps around the house, leaving me time for my alone time, or for writing on my blog and other writing, and knitting.

During those seven years of being a caregiver, I wrote a secret journal pushing all my emotions onto the page, my secret fears, and my yearnings. I just reread one of them, and would like to include that paragraph here.”

From Behind The Mask

“I want to crawl into his skin. I want to run my hands all over him, and kiss everything better. I want to protect him. I don’t want him to know what is happening, I want to run my hands over the grass or trail my hands and feet in the water. I want to look at the sunsets, see the mountains. I want to beat the crap out of something, anything. I want to cry. I want a hug, I want to touch velvet and silk. I want to touch Howard and I want to heal him with my kisses and my love. I want him not to worry about being a burden to me. I want him not to worry about me. I want someone to worry about me. How’s that for an oxymoron?

I want YESTERDAY. I’m scared of tomorrow.”

Journaling is a powerful tool. I urge all caregivers to try to write something every day. Especially three things they are grateful for. Even if one of those things is the sunshine, or that they slept all night.

Remember, this is the time for giving. Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, all it takes is an email. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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Adopt A Caregiver

December 2, 2008 By 4 Comments

Adopt A Caregiver. Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. If you make any New Years resolutions, please think about giving back. Adopt A Caregiver is the perfect way to do this.

Look around your community, surely there is someone there who is a caregiver. All it takes is an email to let them know you care, that you are thinking about them.

I encourage every caregiver to write in a journal. write three things you are grateful for. Yes, you can find a few things to be grateful for. Even as I was going down that long caregiving road, when I wrote in my secret journal, I found things to be grateful for.

And now, I am most grateful that I did publish my book, Behind The Mask, because it is every new caregivers story.

Because of my book, I have vowed to make my vision for the future of caregivers to be a better one. We can’t wipe away all their tears, but we surely can help them.

There are so many ways to keep in touch. You will find friendship and rewards coming back to you in ways you never thought of. I know, because I’ve done it.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you. Bless you.

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Dear Caregiver

December 1, 2008 By 1 Comment

Dear Caregiver (use their name)

I heard about your situation through church (poker club, synagogue, school, community, etc.) and I heard about Helene Moore and her Adopt A Caregiver program. It seemed like a good idea to me, so I looked at Helene’s website and read her blogs. It gave me some insight about standing in a caregivers shoes.

I would like to be your friend. I will not judge, I will not interfere, but I will listen. I will let you vent, I will encourage you to talk about your situation. I understand that you think no one knows what you are going through, well, help me to understand. I want to be your friend. I will not leave you. I will continue to communicate with you either by email, phone or writing a note; I promise.

Let yourself be you. Be open. I will not repeat anything you tell me. I will try to put myself in your shoes.

Helene says to Adopt A Caregiver is to give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.

I believe I can help, please allow me to be your friend.

And just sign your name. That’s all there is to it. If you really want to know what it feels like to stand in a caregivers shoes, there are books out there, including mine. Behind The Mask is available on my website.

Keep love and kisses in you life Helene

Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

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I'm Home

November 30, 2008 By 2 Comments

It was a marvelous four day holiday spent with family. Sometimes I can’t get enough of them. I miss them every day. Everyone was at Thanksgiving dinner except those that were sick, working, or living in Minnesota. Time is so precious, and it seemed that I hadn’t been to California in a long time.

My legacy is my family! I am blessed and reminded that Thanksgiving is a special time of year. Remember, special can mean sad and lonely, or surrounded by family and friends, being well. Not everyone has this luxury. So always remember to write down at least three things you are grateful for every day.

My daughter and I had a wonderful lunch with a new friend. Linda Abbit, from www.tenderlovingeldercare.com.  Will see you in December when I come back to California. Thanks Linda, it was wonderful meeting you.

I have met some incredible people since starting my blog, people I have connected to because of what I write about.

Adopt A Caregiver. Everyone loves the idea. So will you Adopt A Caregiver this year? It’s the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. I’m sure caregivers would like not to be sad and lonely for the holidays. You can help. All you have to do is find a caregiver, and write them an email. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.  If you want to stand in a new caregivers shoes, read my book, Behind The Mask, available on my website.

Tomorrow I will write a simple sample of what a new email for a caregiver might sound like.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

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