Couldn't Sleep, Thinking About Blog

Silly, isn’t it? But it kept me up, and here I at at 4am. in the morning hours sitting at my computer. Wondering what I wrote last night that didn’t get saved.

I want to thank for the nice mention of my book, Behind The Mask. I think you all would like to read his blogs.

Another mention I got was from who also mentioned my book, and my Adopt A Caregiver program. Thank you so much.

I heard from a caregiver yesterday. She  said peole call her and dump on her about their illness, their medications, and so I say to you Dot..start a journal, write your memoirs, you write well. Don’t let these people continue to talk to you, tell them you have your own problems, and don’t need to hear theirs.I was reminded about a friend who had a dinner party, and she told all her guests there would be no mention of operations, doctors, illness, medications. She said, “There was no conversation.”

I’ve mentioned my Chronic Fatigue for the last eight weeks, I don’t talk about it to friends, I do mention it here in the blog sometimes because again this is something no one knows much about. This last bout came as a reaction to a shot. And I want to thank my husband. He’s been wonderful, never complains if I don’t feel like making dinner, he never complains when I sit in my lounge chair all day in my office, or when I say I don’t feel like doing anything. He’s an exceptional man, and he’s still my handsome here. Our love affair has been going on for over 56 years. I get a love note every morning. Yes, we are blessed.

So, this has turned into a bits and pieces blog.

I have a big day tomorrow. And tomorrow night I’m going to an internet workshop. I know I will be learning new things, and I need to learn more.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Bits And Pieces

I always keep a folder handy, called Bits and Pieces, and I throw in bits and pieces of writing that I want to remember.

They could be quotes, poems, my own writing, or  writing from someone else.

I want to share some of these  with you, whether you are the caregiver, or someone thinking of joining my journey to  Adopt A Caregiver.

One is a poem, I have no idea where it came from, or who wrote it, but it resonated with me to my core and I saved it. It reads,

“Depression hovers and hangs over me like a living thing. It swallows me, it starts at my edges and takes small bites–then keeps eating away in my head–till I am no more.

I am consumed by this thing. I want to fight back, but, I let it take me-it’s so easy to be eaten alive-bit by bit, by words, by anger, by resentment, till there is nothing.”

I wish I knew who wrote this piece of writing, it’s so very powerful.

On a lighter note, I think caregivers should journal, and I will talk more about that later this week. But for now, if you are a caregiver, give yourself some slack. Don’t beat yourself up!

Tell yourself, that just for today, I will live in this moment, and not be angry, or frustrated no matter how hard the day is.

Tell yourself that just for today, I will dress myself, put on makeup, and comb my hair, just for me. I will not let myself go..just for today.

Tell yourself that just for today, I will reach for a pen and paper, and pour out my thoughts. I will vent away all my fears, all my anger and not stuff everything inside. Here on this paper, I can complain, whine, and let my words cry for me.

Tell yourself that just for today, I will be grateful for something. Maybe someone will call or email or just get in touch. Maybe a friend will reach out.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Waiting To Hear From You

Every day you hear more and more  younger people are being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Every time my grandson plays soccer and hits a header and is knocked out, I worry. But early diagnosis is a good thing. I strongly advise it. The Alzheimer’s Association, the doctors and the scientists have made great strides in this field. Maybe someday there won’t be any necessity for caregivers.

But that’s the future, and the reality is that there are too many overstressed, overworked, lonely, scared, and depressed caregivers. Lets give them a break. Find a way to communicate with them. Listen, don’t judge, tell them you care, you can email them often, maybe send the a  joke or two to make them smile. It all helps, and one person can make a difference. The rewards are immensely satisfying. Just knowing you reached out to help..has to make you feel ten feet tall.

For all the caregivers out there, hang in there, reach out to us, and let us know you are willing to hear from us. We need your permission.

To all the hospitals, nurses, assisted living places, give us some feedback. I’m waiting to hear from you. Please comment or email me, the link is on my website.

When I was a caregiver, and I wrote my secret journal and then published it as Behind The Mask, I realized that it had a purpose. My book was every caregivers story.

Now my mission is to have everyone adopt a caregiver. It only takes a few minutes of your time, an email once a week or so. As much, or as little as you want.

As for my bits and pieces of my life, I’m still knitting. writing is still a little hard for me, since my finger had surgery, but the doctor told me it would just take some time. So I’m writing on the computer, and I’ve started my new book, Adopt A Caregiver.

Stories told to me with your permission, including my own stories that were not included in Behind The Mask will be included in the new book.  Maybe next time, I will write something here that I wrote during my emotional time as a caregiver for my husband.

We were the lucky ones, he did not get Alzheimer’s, but we went through seven years thinking this is it, it’s happening now. We have no idea what happened, or what it was, I only thank God for our good fortune.

Now I want to give something back; and my adopt a caregiver program is the one thing I will not give up on for the rest of my life.

For you caregivers reading this, take heart, progress is being made every day. Write in a journal, get out your thoughts, anger, despair, little bits of happiness, and the why is this happening to me. Writing it out helps, even if you don’t think so now.

In the meantime I hope to hear from you.]

Behind The Mask is available on my website. I will send a signed copy.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Bits And Pieces of Life

Small bits and pieces make up a life, or a day. It’s what you do, what you dream, what you don’t do.

The stitches came out of my finger yesterday, and now I can type on the computer. Felt good to do simple things, like wash my two hands. Couldn’t do that for two weeks. A strange feeling. Tomorrow I’m going to the knitting club at our center, but am not sure I can knit. But I will try.

A blog reader sent me a beautiful email; about how lonely and difficult being a caregiver is. She also said although the times were difficult, she would not change the lessons learned from this experience. Neither will I.

It taught me to be compassionate for those less fortunate than we were and how to live in the moment of every day. To be grateful for the sunshine, the laughter, the flowers and trees, and most of all for our family who were always there when we needed them. Love and kisses and strength and faith got us through those awful times.

I wish someone would ask me, “What do you see for the future?”

My answer would have to be, “I wish someday there would be no need for caregivers. I hope that people all over would listen to their hearts and give something back. I wish everyone would adopt a caregiver.” That would be my answer.

Fibromyalgia is alive and well in my body today, yet I felt the need to write.

This is the bits and pieces of my life today; with random thoughts, wishes, and dreams.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Write and let me know your bits and pieces.

Read Behind The Mask and know what it feels like to be a caregiver.