Things To Do Before I Die

I wrote this almost ten years ago, and it still holds true today.

“Things to do before I die. Now where did that thought com from? It flew into my mind like a tornado and wouldn’t leave. So, lets see if I can come up with some answers.

First of all, assuming I have enough years left, I’d like to continue to sample life, love and family. That’s always my first priority. Then there’s reading, writing, and knitting.

I hope my love of life and learning stays with me forever. I like learning from others, listening, sharing. I like something to do every day, spending time at home and time alone with my thoughts.Spending time with Howard.

I’d like to leave a legacy of love. I’d like world peace. I’d like everyone to take charge of his own life, to share himself with his world and to give something back. I’d like love to be all things to all people”

Yes, it all still hold true to this day. There have been some changes/additions. I have published my book, Behind The Mask, we have moved back to California to be near our family, and we are dedicated to seeing our Adopt A Caregiver grow. You can see what that is by looking at

www.adoptacaregiver.org

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Catching Up

I’m catching up. Shopping to day; Costco, Borders, and Whole Foods. Tomorrow the lawyer, next week doctor appointments.

But, today I found some new websites and they are wonderful. I forgot to write down the names, but come back tomorrow and I will name them.

I’m feeling pretty good, getting things done, papers filed. Now it’s back to writing. I started a book several years ago, and I put it away, thinking I wasn’t ready to write it yet. One of the reasons I stopped, my heroine is too angry. So I think I will have to let the readers know why she is so angry, and then I can start the story. It means giving the reader a lot of information about the heroine at the very beginning, but I think it might be necessary. Otherwise, she won’t be likable.

I am so blessed to be back with my family. My grateful list just grows and grows and grows. As long as we keep our health, we will be fine.

Happiness is in the moment. This moment. The fact that I’m sitting here blogging makes me happy.

Write your memories, keep them close to your heart. Let your families know who you are, who you really are on the inside. Include your self in writing your Memoir.

Give something back. Do a kindness every day. Tell someone something nice. Pick up the phone and call an old friend. Skip the jokes, and write something on the email.

Adopt A Caregiver. Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene Moore sent you. Don’t know how a new caregiver feels, read my book, Behind The Mask.

Keep love and kisses in you life. Helene

www.adoptacaregiver.org is now up and running

Make A Difference

Make a difference in a caregivers life. Find a caregiver in your community, and begin a lasting friendship by email or phone. Listen, do not judge, encourage them to laugh, to write in a journal, to open up and let you in. They are lonesome, exhausted, worried, and they need a friend. Someone to talk to.

I read that  giving back adds years to your life. I believe that wholeheartedly. I also know that stress, feeling alone and abandoned, lessens your lifetime.

Make a difference, give something back. There are more new caregivers every day, and some of them are in your community. Which could be your home, church, social club, school, or your family.

Be aware, pay attention.

Adopt a caregiver, tell them Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Emotions

This is something I wrote during the time my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

“My emotions are on a crazy roller coaster and I’m spinning round and round. My vibes are whirling questions at me that I don’t want to answer. Climbing up to the top of the hill, a winding long road round and round the mountain.

Getting to the top takes courage and humor, vulnerability slows me down, but I keep climbing up and around, stepping into holes and on stones, slowing me down but I am determined to persevere.   One step up and falling down two, doesn’t matter, not important, just keep going, keep moving, keep breathing, only winners get to the top.

What is waiting for me at the top? I’ll never know unless I keep putting one foot in front of the other. And after I finally make it to the top, then I can tell you (others) about the journey.”

That was written years ago. My husband’s diagnosis was changed after seven years. I showed him my secret journal and later published it as Behind The Mask. It shows every emotion a caregiver goes through.

Now I’m on another journey. Adopt A Caregiver. I want caregivers to have support, friends to talk to. Journals to vent into. I want people to remember to ask not only how is the patient, but “How are you!”

Caregivers can feel trapped, no place to turn to. Help them out, support them, give something back. It costs nothing to send an email. Every community has caregivers. Find one and adopt a caregiver. This is my journey.

November is National Caregivers’ Month.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

I Want

I want to change the caregivers world.

I want to make everyone aware of what the caregiver is going through, that much of his/her life is gone.

I want to take away the stigma from Alzheimer’s Disease.

I want caregivers to talk, to vent, to journal, to open up so others will understand what they are going through.

I think that’s one reason I published my secret journal, Behind The Mask. Let the facts speak for themselves. My emotions, my guts are in that journal. T My book is every new caregivers story.

I want everyone to Adopt A Caregiver. I want every caregiver to have a friend, someone they can talk to, vent to, let them into their lives. It only takes an email, or a phone call. What do you have to lose; nothing. But you have everything to gain. Helping someone in pain, alone in their misery, giving something back.

Times are bad enough, don’t make them worse. Do something worthwhile. Adopt A Caregiver. Nothing to join, nothing to pay, just find a caregiver, they are in every community, and write them an email. Tell them I sent you.

If you are the caregiver, and someone emails you or phones you and asks, ‘Can I do something?” Open up, let them help. Keep a list by your phone and your computer. Tell them you need a joke, or a pretty picture. Or just someone to talk to for a minute.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Adopt A Caregiver Mission Statement

The most important things in my life are my family and friends; my passion for writing, reading and knitting; and my self respect.

My book Behind The Mask is a caregivers secret journey showing the emotions churning through me each new day.

Alzheimer’s Disease is not contagious, yet the caregivers are usually left alone without the support of friends and neighbors.

Adopt A Caregiver is my unique way of giving back, all you have to do is check your neighborhood, your social clubs, church, synagogue, your doctor’s office, the Alzheimer’s caregivers message boards, and the Mayo Clinic message boards.

Then go Adopt A Caregiver.

Just send an email to the person who needs a friend, listen and come back once a week to check on your caregiver, letting him/her know you care, and will listen without judging.

Give something back.

Adopt A Caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

In One Second Your Life Changes

Have you ever thought about what would happen if you suddenly became a caregiver? Do you ever think about what would become of your family, friends and others around you?

Would you be scared, depressed, feeling helpless and alone? Of course you would, that would only be natural.

Real life happens that way. So think about it. And think about all the people you know that are caregivers. Give a thought to what is going through their mind. Think about how they must be feeling.

Give something back, be thankful for your life. Adopt A Caregiver.

Nothing to pay, nothing to join, no committment, except to yourself.

Adopt A Caregiver, be a friend, listen, help those who can’t help themselves.

Just think about it, your life could change in one second.  Wouldn’t you want someone to care?

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Behind The Mask by Helene Moore

BookReview.com gave me a good review.  My book was reviewed by Rod Clark and says in the last paragraph the following:

“As the new century opens and more and more of us are living longer, diagnoses of Alzheimer’s, dementia, and similar ailments are becoming more and more common–and stories like Helene’s and Howard’s are something that many of us are familiar with. However, knowing of the problem and living with it are two very different things. Few of us would face such a trauma with this much strength and dignity, and still fewer would have the courage to write a book like this and share it with the world. Kudos to Helene and Howard, and good luck to them both.”

Behind The Mask is every new caregivers story, their emotions, how they cope, and try to live every day with a smile. They don’t want to talk about it or complain. “They don’t want to be a burden to anyone.

The purpose of my book never came to light until after it was published.  My vision is for everyone to adopt a caregiver and give them some support, a little friendship, and something to look forward to. A simple email will do. Please share this with others, and do adopt a caregiver.

One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help. I need your help.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Adopt a Caregiver Answers

Still getting incredible comments on Behind The Mask. As I talk about my adopt a caregiver program people are getting more interested. How can I tell? They are starting to ask questions.

Do I have to sign up for the adopt a caregiver program? No, it’s an honor system. You do as much or as little as you want.

Do I have to make a definite committment? No, it’s all up to you.

When can I start? Adopt a caregiver has no starting point or ending point. Just find someone who is a caregiver and email them once or twice a week. As you get to know this person, it will get easier to find things to say. For instance, you can say that you care, that you are trying to understand what he/she is going through. You are a good listener, you have broad shoulders, and that it would be okay for the caregiver to spill his guts to you. But only when they feel safe, that they know you are really interested, that you will come back with another email and stay with them.

I found my first caregiver on the Alzheimer’s message boards, and I scrolled down until I found a message that called out to me. We have been writing ever since. My heart still cries for her because it’s been such a long long time. It’s depressing, discouraging, and lonely. I can tell you that is a fact.

My next caregiver lives in my neighborhood. You can find caregivers everywhere. Church, synagogue, neighborhood, family.

More and more young people are being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. If you want you could find someone to adopt. Ask your doctor. All my doctors have been helpful and think my project is a good one.

Give something back, adopt a caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Behind The Mask

Behind The Mask, a caregiver’s secret journal explains how a new caregiver feels.

My book was writen when my husband Howard was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 1993 and the Alzheimer’s Association insisted we keep it a secret, since Howard was on the Board of Directors of Toys R Us and consulting with major toy companies like Mattel.

Howard never saw my journal until long after the doctor changed the diagnosis to AAMI (age associated memory impairment) and finally took him off Aricept after seven years.

When I finally showed him my journal, he was astonished. First that I could keep it a secret, and that the words were beautiful, from my gut, heartfelt and loving.

With tears in his eyes he said, “This book should be published, it’s beautiful.”

It took me a few years to have the courage to go forward. I self published Behind The Mask this year. If you would like a copy please let me know. It’s $15.00 and I will pay the shipping and handling.

After the book was in my hands, I realized it had a purpose. Everyone should read the book, know what a caregiver is feeling and to give something back.

Alzheimer’s Disease is not contagious, and there are two victims.

adopt a caregiver

Give something back and feel good about it. It’s so easy to do.

Please feel free to add your comments and questions.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene