Communities Come Together

Adopt A Caregiver. Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Yes, my dream, my vision, but so attainable. One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help.

How can you help? Use your community. What is a community? A community is where you live, where you work, where you go to school, where you play Mah Jongg, Poker, Golf, cards, where you congregate for work or fun.

There are men, women, and children who are caregivers. They think no one understands what they are going through. That’s true, you never really know, unless you stand in their shoes. I think that is one reason I published my book, Behind The Mask. It’s one woman’s secret account of her thoughts and emotions and  love for her husband. I hope it helps others understand what a caregiver is going through.

They don’t want to talk about it, they don’t want to be a burden, they don’t want you to see them cry. Most of the time, they don’t cry, they don’t vent, they don’t get their emotions out. All they do, is care for someone 24/7. Put yourself in their shoes one time, think about them.

There are caregivers in your community. Find them, befriend them, don’t judge them, let them vent, encourage them to journal, or talk, or cry.

There are more and more younger people being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and other dementia. There is a stigma attached to Alzheimer’s Disease. I want that to disappear. I want to wipe away the tears and make life more pleasant for the caregiver.

Please help. How long does it take to email someone? A moment of your time, will give someone a lift knowing that someone is there to listen and to care.

I care! I want you to care too!

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Adopt A Caregiver

I spent this morning in our center during their annual Art and Craft fair. Anthem Authors had a few tables, and I sat at one with my books, talking to people, and giving out my brochures on Adopt A Caregiver. I hope they read over the brochure and come to my website and read about Adopt A Caregiver.

Everyone loves the idea. I just have to reach more people and get them started in their own community to find the caregivers, then to follow through and email them, phone them, become their friend and confidant. Just be their friend.

Thinking about gifts this time of year. Well, give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver. Tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Thank you to all my new friends I’ve made here at my blog, I know you care also.

One person can make a difference, with a little bit of help. Can you help me? This is my new journey, my vision and my dream. I know it will make a difference in a caregivers life.

Three things I am grateful for today: you are reading my blog, I was able to talk to people about my program to Adopt A Caregiver, and that I have more energy this week, than the last 10 weeks. I am smiling, hoping to help every caregiver and wipe away some of their tears.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

I Believe

I believe no matter what happens, everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes what is happening is too cruel to think that way. Death, divorces, children dying, diseases making caregivers who have to give up just about everything to take care of someone else. Life is not fair. I’m glad my mother told me that as a child. And it’s true, life is not fair. Sometimes we don’t get to choose the road, sometimes we get stuck in a box that feels like a prison.

I believe in Synchronicity. If we pay attention to our lives, there is a lot of Synchronicity going on. Synchronicity is when you are thinking of someone and they call. Synchronicity is like a couple of weeks ago, I was reading the sequel to The Gold Coast, and the sentence had to do with pirates and a ship in Somalia. I looked up at the mute tv and there it was flashing the alert. Pirates had kidnapped a ship in Somalia. Sometimes it can be scary, sometimes it’s an unusual word, something we don’t hear very often, and boom, there it is again.

We can stay stuck in a box, or we can be open to all possibilities. When I wrote my book, Behind The Mask, I mentioned that something happened to me during an Alzheimer’s luncheon. That feeling was so strong, every hair on my body stood up, and I knew, just knew as if something or someone hovered over me and told me, there was something I had to do.

I didn’t know what that was. Not until this year when I published my secret journal. It was something Bershert. (meant to be) And that was to help the caregivers. It took fourteen years!

And Adopt A Caregiver was born. I know in my heart that this is a wonderful idea. My vision for the future is looming closer all the time. I’m still going slowly, but it will come. Word of mouth has been terrific, and soon there will be articles and newsprint and possibly tv..the possibilities are endless.

I am out of the box, I am open to Synchronicity, I am aware, and most of all, I feel ready.

It’s the time of giving. Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing.

Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Talk About Caregivers, But No Solutions

There has been a lot written about caregivers this month in newspapers, because it is National Caregivers Month. I’ve read a lot about caregivers, but no one seems to talk about solutions.

I have a solution: It’s called Adopt A Caregiver. It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.

Here is two scenerios: one, everyone lives in a community or belongs to a community. Whether it is home, church, synagogue, school, hi rise building, social club. We all hear things. We hear that so and so just became a caregiver, and it’s such a shame. The shame is doing nothing!

All you have to do is reach out, be a friend, email, offer to listen to let them vent, let them know you won’t judge them, after all, you never stood in their shoes, did you? I did, that’s why I published my book, Behind The Mask. I was a caregive for my husband when he was suddenly diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease at age 63! And we had to keep it a secret.

So I started a secret journal, which no one saw. I poured my heart and soul into that jounal, after all, I had no one else to talk to.

Seven long hard years later, the doctor changed his diagnosis. God? Love and kisses? The wonder and magic of love? It all worked.

When I got up enough courage I showed him my journal, and he said publish it. And so I did, this year.

I stood in the caregivers shoes, I know what I’m talking about. These people are alone in ways you can’t imagine. They are scared, worried about the future, about big things, little things, everything.

The second scenerio is find someone who is a caregiver.  Ask around, call a caregivers support group, tell them you want to Adopt A Caregiver, tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Give soemthing back. This should be the year of giving back, and it doesn’t cost anything!

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

How It Is Now

Now, all these years later, I still have the same emotions, only it’s different. Now these emotions are for all caregivers. I imagine them going through all that I went through, and I want to help them past the rough spots.

Imagine yourself in the position of caregiver. Put yourself in their shoes; it doesn’t feel good, does it?  No, it doesn’t.

I’ve ripped off my mask, but they can’t. The only way to help them is to get them to talk, to get it out, to vent, and we can offer support, encourage them to journal, or draw or do something they love to do.

Adopt A Caregiver. I want that to be on everyone’s list. It certainly is the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Just keep your ears open, find out who is a caregiver in your own community, school, church, synagogue, Mah Jongg club, Poker Club, and then offer to be their friend.

No, they won’t open up right away, but when they start to trust that you aren’t going to judge them, they might. That would help wipe away some of their tears. Don’t you want to help do that?

I do!

Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

I am so grateful and feel so blessed that the Alzheimer’s Disease diagnosis no longer hangs over our heads. Now it’s time to give back. This is my new journey. Please help. Just Adopt A Caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Attention Teachers, Counselors, Principals

To all teachers, counselors, principals. I think you know that school is a community. And there are caregivers in every community, including schools.

I have a suggestion for you. You all know who the caregivers are in your school. Help them find each other. They know that no one understands what they are going through, and they are right. Unless you stand in their shoes, you don’t know how alone, abandoned, and scared they are.

There may be siblings, parents, or grandparents in the house, and these kids are helping out; they are caregivers. Encourage them to journal, to find a friend in similar circumstances. They need help, emotional help.

It’s your community, it’s up to you. Tell them a friend sent you to them. I’m sending you to them, they need you.

How do I know these things? Because I was a caregiver in my teens, and I was a caregiver in my sixties. My book,  Behind The Mask chronicles my journey during the last time I was a caregiver. My story is their story. It’s every caregivers story.

After I published my book, I realized that if everyone would Adopt A Caregiver, we could help and support the caregivers of the world who are so busy helping others, they have no time for themselves. But they still have their emotions!

My new journey is to have everyone Adopt A Caregiver. It’s so easy to give back. Nothing to join, nothing to pay, no commitment, except to yourself. Help the kids, help the caregivers.

Keep love and kisses in your life Helene

Caregivers And Community

Caregivers are those who take care of people with diseases, strokes, heart attacks, anyone who does the job 24/7. They are men, women and children. They are the heroes of the home. I salute them and vow to try to make my words known all over.

Adopt A Caregiver.

Community. Everyone lives in a community or is part of a community. Homes are community, churches and synagogues are community. High rises in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles are communities, just ask any doorman.  If you are part of a poker club, a Mah Jongg Club, a book club, a travel club, a social club, this too is part of a community.

And in every community there are caregivers. Think about these people once in awhile. Think how they must feel. How alone, frustrated, how worried, how exhausted they must be. I try to urge every caregiver I know to journal their feelings and their thoughts. No one else has to see these words.

I wrote a secret journal when I was a caregiver. I later published it as Behind The Mask. I now call it every new caregivers story. I hear things like, “I showed my friend your book, and she called me from California and said, “‘Why didn’t you tell me how bad you were feeling?” She was crying.

Now my book has a purpose. Adopt A Caregiver is my new journey. And I will keep working at it, talking about it, speaking to groups about it, until everyone understands the desparate need for my Adopt A Caregiver program.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Adopt A Caregiver

Did you adopt a caregiver today? Did you ask someone how they are feeling?

I felt lousy today, yet I thought about caregivers; they don’t have the luxury of feeling lousy. They still have to do everything they have to do, while I did nothing today.

I am no longer a caregiver, but I am supporting them in every way that I can. I am one person, but we all know that one person can make a difference. Word of mouth is potent. Together, we can do this. We can wipe away some of the caregivers tears, we can reach out and touch them with our email words and phone calls.

We can encourage them to vent, to write to make it all right. My secret journal became my lifeline. And when I published Behind The Mask, I knew it was Bershert! (meant to be) That Adopt A Caregiver would happen in every community. That’s where it starts in the community, your community.

Hugs to all the caregivers, I’m thinking about you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Emotions

This is something I wrote during the time my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

“My emotions are on a crazy roller coaster and I’m spinning round and round. My vibes are whirling questions at me that I don’t want to answer. Climbing up to the top of the hill, a winding long road round and round the mountain.

Getting to the top takes courage and humor, vulnerability slows me down, but I keep climbing up and around, stepping into holes and on stones, slowing me down but I am determined to persevere.   One step up and falling down two, doesn’t matter, not important, just keep going, keep moving, keep breathing, only winners get to the top.

What is waiting for me at the top? I’ll never know unless I keep putting one foot in front of the other. And after I finally make it to the top, then I can tell you (others) about the journey.”

That was written years ago. My husband’s diagnosis was changed after seven years. I showed him my secret journal and later published it as Behind The Mask. It shows every emotion a caregiver goes through.

Now I’m on another journey. Adopt A Caregiver. I want caregivers to have support, friends to talk to. Journals to vent into. I want people to remember to ask not only how is the patient, but “How are you!”

Caregivers can feel trapped, no place to turn to. Help them out, support them, give something back. It costs nothing to send an email. Every community has caregivers. Find one and adopt a caregiver. This is my journey.

November is National Caregivers’ Month.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

I Want

I want to change the caregivers world.

I want to make everyone aware of what the caregiver is going through, that much of his/her life is gone.

I want to take away the stigma from Alzheimer’s Disease.

I want caregivers to talk, to vent, to journal, to open up so others will understand what they are going through.

I think that’s one reason I published my secret journal, Behind The Mask. Let the facts speak for themselves. My emotions, my guts are in that journal. T My book is every new caregivers story.

I want everyone to Adopt A Caregiver. I want every caregiver to have a friend, someone they can talk to, vent to, let them into their lives. It only takes an email, or a phone call. What do you have to lose; nothing. But you have everything to gain. Helping someone in pain, alone in their misery, giving something back.

Times are bad enough, don’t make them worse. Do something worthwhile. Adopt A Caregiver. Nothing to join, nothing to pay, just find a caregiver, they are in every community, and write them an email. Tell them I sent you.

If you are the caregiver, and someone emails you or phones you and asks, ‘Can I do something?” Open up, let them help. Keep a list by your phone and your computer. Tell them you need a joke, or a pretty picture. Or just someone to talk to for a minute.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene