Adopt A Caregiver

I always talk about Adopt A Caregiver. I think it’s a wonderful idea, and I wish that everyone would do it. At least try it.

It’s so simple, I am sure all of you know someone in your own community that is a caregiver. Doesn’t matter what kind of care-giving the person does. Cancer, Alzheimer’s Disease, anything.

All you have to do is email this person, tell them you are trying to understand what they are going through. Since you cannot stand in their shoes, perhaps you can get that person to talk to you, to vent, to help you ‘see’ what they see. Just listen, do not  judge just be there as a friend, an understanding friend.

Twenty years ago when I was a caregiver, I wrote something that I never put into my book, Behind The Mask. I though it was too harsh. It went something like this:

Where were you when I needed  you? When I was crying my eyes out alone and scared. You all called and asked how my husband was doing, no one asked me how I was doing.

I’d like to think all that has changed, that people are more tuned in, and are more aware of the needs of caregivers.

Now that my husband is diagnosed again, it starts all over again for me.

I’d like to think we are better prepared this time around.
The one thing I do remember, and know to be true. I will have to live in his reality, when the time comes.

Please go out and Adopt A Caregiver.  Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing.

Keep love and kisses in your life.

Live In The Real World

We have to live in the real world, don’t we? Yes, usually, most of us do.

But the best piece of advice I ever got  when my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, was ‘live in his reality’.

Think about it. Asking the same question, pressuring you about a pair of socks might sound ridiculous but not to the patient.

Patience, empathy, and the real world gets in the way, but you have to figure it out for yourself.

My husband is now fine. We were one of the few lucky ones, they reversed the diagnosis seven years later.

I never forgot that advice, and I’m passing it along to you. Think about it and use it when you have to.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene