What I Learn From You

Every day I learn something new, mostly from people who email me or contact me in some way. I know how my caregiver friends are feeling, and I wish I could change some of what they are going through. They are mostly alone, or feel like they are alone.

I am speaking at the Henderson Senior Center on Tuesday morning, and I am counting on some of their seniors to come to the rescue of some of the caregivers I hear from. That’s the way Adopt A Caregiver works, one on one, so they can become friends. someone to share with, someone they know who does care.

I will start speaking to groups again, and word of mouth works for me. It’s potent, and the seeds get planted.

Give the gift that lasts forever, and costs nothing. Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life.

I Believe

I believe no matter what happens, everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes what is happening is too cruel to think that way. Death, divorces, children dying, diseases making caregivers who have to give up just about everything to take care of someone else. Life is not fair. I’m glad my mother told me that as a child. And it’s true, life is not fair. Sometimes we don’t get to choose the road, sometimes we get stuck in a box that feels like a prison.

I believe in Synchronicity. If we pay attention to our lives, there is a lot of Synchronicity going on. Synchronicity is when you are thinking of someone and they call. Synchronicity is like a couple of weeks ago, I was reading the sequel to The Gold Coast, and the sentence had to do with pirates and a ship in Somalia. I looked up at the mute tv and there it was flashing the alert. Pirates had kidnapped a ship in Somalia. Sometimes it can be scary, sometimes it’s an unusual word, something we don’t hear very often, and boom, there it is again.

We can stay stuck in a box, or we can be open to all possibilities. When I wrote my book, Behind The Mask, I mentioned that something happened to me during an Alzheimer’s luncheon. That feeling was so strong, every hair on my body stood up, and I knew, just knew as if something or someone hovered over me and told me, there was something I had to do.

I didn’t know what that was. Not until this year when I published my secret journal. It was something Bershert. (meant to be) And that was to help the caregivers. It took fourteen years!

And Adopt A Caregiver was born. I know in my heart that this is a wonderful idea. My vision for the future is looming closer all the time. I’m still going slowly, but it will come. Word of mouth has been terrific, and soon there will be articles and newsprint and possibly tv..the possibilities are endless.

I am out of the box, I am open to Synchronicity, I am aware, and most of all, I feel ready.

It’s the time of giving. Give the gift that lasts forever and costs nothing.

Adopt A Caregiver and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

To All The Caregivers I Adopted

Hello to all. I’m sorry that I’ve been too under the weather to keep in touch. I have missed talking to all of you. I am feeling better now, and will try to do better. Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, and get too far behind to catch up.

I hope my little silly poem made you smile yesterday. It made me smile, so I put it up here. I hardly ever write poetry, and yet I have about six or seven that I think are pretty good.

It seems I am getting back to writing more and that’s good. I have neglected it for a long time.

This is the end of the eighth week of Chronic Fatigue, the result of a shot. No more shots for me.

I hope to find more time to write to you, my friends, I really do miss you all.

Adopt A Caregiver is going well. Thanks to all of you who are spreading my word out there. Word of mouth is so potent, it works so well. Only when something is very very bad, or very very good, do people talk about it. You only hear about the wonderful new restaurant that opened, or the worst place in the world. You don’t hear about the in between things. I consider Adopt A Caregiver, very very good, so please do talk about it.

Adopt A Caregiver, and tell them your friend Helene sent you.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

A Brief Encounter

Sometimes you meet someone just briefly, yet you know deep in your being that you were supposed to meet. Maybe there is no rhyme or reason but when you are supposed to know, you will know. In the meantime be yourself, go about your every day business and when the time is right you will know.

Once in a while this person’s aura or energy or light will reach out to you.  Embrace it with all your being. If you don’t understand it, it’s still all right. Be aware, stay alert, go with the feeling and let it energize you. And if you are wrong, so what did you lose and so what? Just a little time and attention.

Then when you least expect it who knows what will happen.

I wrote this during the time I was a caregiver, while I was writing Behind The Mask.

Since I decided that my journey now is for everyone to Adopt A Caregiver, I’ve met many of these people. You just know they are put in your path to help you. Thank you and bless you.

It’s just like I said, word of mouth is potent, one by one by one we are getting the word out about Adopt A Caregiver. Several websites have approached me and said they wanted to write about my Adopt A Caregiver program, and I gave my permission. Several people have heard me speak, and want me to speak to other groups, and I have accepted.

I am so proud and grateful and blessed to have all these good people put into my path. Together we are going to make a difference in the life of the caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Thank You for your Kind Wishes

It’s been a big week for me. Talking to people all over and having some of them come back with kind wishes for my success with Adopt A Caregiver.

Today I found myself on the blog of www.TenderLovingEldercare.com. Wow, that was a huge surprise and a most welcome one. Thank you for all your kind wishes, and helping me to get my word out about my journey and proving that word of mouth is potent. One by one by one, we can do this. Caregivers are lonely, hurting, and they think no one understands. Believe me those who read my book, Behind The Mask, know what it’s like to stand in a caregivers shoes. They need our help.

There was also an article in the Orange County newspaper today from Jane Glenn Haas, whom I have met before, and she believes in helping the caregivers. It take it’s toll on caregivers; they are victims themselves.

You never know how your life could change in an instant. So give something back now. Help all those who can’t help themselves. Adopt A Caregiver.

I believe all this is Bershert! That is a Yiddish word for “it’s meant to be” Little did I know when Howard was diagnosed that I would write a secret journal, and then publish it, and then to my surprise realize that my book has a purpose. It is every new caregivers story. And that is why I want everyone to

Adopt A Caregiver.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Me

It’s in the 90’s here in Las Vegas, but my body is telling me that winter is here. That’s what Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue feels like. Everything hurts! Parts of my body are already feeling the cold, inside.

Hard to concentrate, hard to write, but attitude is so important, I keep telling myself, tomorrow is another day. I’m going to the knitting club and relax for awhile, then do some errands, and come home to rest.

After my rest, I will read the rest of the old emails I wrote to my dear friend in North Carolina during the time my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. We have kept in touch these many years. Those letters still brought tears to my eyes, both for her and for myself.I remind myself, how lucky we are and how blessed.

I will Adopt A Caregiver whenever I have time, and I hope you all will too. The caregivers need our support. We need to support caregivers.

Remember one by one, by word of mouth we can all spread the word. The seed is now planted and we can watch it spread.

My secret journal, now the book, Behind The Mask will explain how a new caregiver feels. Understand, stand in their shoes, and then go out and Adopt A Caregiver.

For those of you starting a memoir, it’s easy to just start it as a letter. Dear —, or Dear Self, try it, it works.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

We Adopted Each Other

I spent a large portion of my time today looking over emails I had saved since 1993. When my husband was suddenly diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and we were strongly advised by the Alzheimer’s Association and UCI to keep the diagnosis a secret, I felt I had no one to talk to. I didn’t want to burden my kids, I figured they would see it for themselves soon enough, and they had their own families to take care of.

I started looking in the message boards of the Alzheimer’s Association, and for days I just looked and read the messages. Then one day, out of the blue, I saw a message that said, “I need a hug.” Oh God, I thought, I needed a hug too. So I started writing to my new friend.

As I reread most of those messages this afternoon, I realized how much we needed each other, and yes, how much we helped each other. It was a blessing the day she came into my life. I know she feels the same way. We talked through our problems, our tears, and our future, or lack of one. The caregiver is also a victim.

I was the lucky one, seven years later, they changed my husband’s diagnosis, but my friend is still struggling with her life, as her husband is still here. What will happen to her? I wonder. I care.

I published my secret journal, Behind The Mask, and realized my story is every caregivers story. So now, I’m devoting the rest of my life to this new journey. I’d love to wipe away all the caregivers tears. That’s not possible, but it is possible for everyone to Adopt A Caregiver.Every community has caregivers, you can find them with no problem. Ask at church, in your community, find a caregivers group and tell them you want to adopt a caregiver. Tell them about my plan, my book, my journey. Together, one by one, we can make this happen.

Word of mouth is so potent, one person tells one person, and the seed is planted and spreads. Thank you all for your support and help. It is truly amazing what one person can do; with a little bit of help.

I cried today, reading those old emails..I’m still crying for you Bajha. I love you.

Keep love and kisses in you life. Helene

A Small World

As I’ve said, word of mouth is potent, and that is evident as I’m finding out what a small world this is.

One of my books, Behind The Mask, went to someone I know, but she did not know it was me who wrote it. Another lived near me in another state, and we connected. Just think if every one told some one else about Adopt A Caregiver, in no time we would make this a closer and better world. We could wipe away some caregivers tears, not all of them, but some. That would make us all feel good, knowing we helped the caregiver.

Adopt a Caregiver is the subject of my talk tomorrow with the Henderson Senior Center. I’ll let you know about it tomorrow. I expect it will be great, with everyone listening and wanting to help. So far this group has been wonderful and willing to do anything they can to get my adopt a caregiver out there for the world to see and hear.

I’m waiting to hear from the Alzheimer’s Association. I know we can help each other, and they know the caregiver is important as is the patient.

Now I’m having some trouble with my computer, maybe someone will come to my rescue.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene

My Good Fortune Today

Today I had the good fortune of meeting with people who think that Adopt A Caregiver is a wonderful and worthwhile idea.  They have promised to help me in any way they can, and I thank the from the bottom of my heart.

Even if we can’t wipe away all the caregivers tears, we can make a difference in their lives.

Someone who read my book called her friend and said, “I never knew how much you were hurting, why didn’t you tell me?”

Another said, “I have a caregiver I write to, but since I’ve read your book, I know I have to do more, and I will.”

One person can make a difference, as I’ve said before, with a little bit of help. It looks like I’m going to get some of that help. Thank you.

To those who came to my house today, I want you to know how grateful I am for this chance, and to tell you that I am not only dedicated to this new journey of mine, but I am loyal to those who have stepped up to the plate, and said, “We will help you.”  I will not forget you.

Word of mouth is potent, lets get my word out for Adopt A Caregiver. Lets plant that seed and watch it grow.

Keep love and kisses in you life. Helene

My New Journey

My new journey is Adopt A Caregiver. This too, will be an uphill battle, but with your help it will get easier.

My old journey was devastating, when my husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease and we had to keep it a secret.  That seven year journey as I clawed my way out from the desolate darkness back to the magic and miracles in my life, as I learned that love and kisses do heal. And God has his own plans.

That is one reason I self published my book, Behind The Mask, so others could stand in my shoes and understand caregivers feelings. Then, they could go out and Adopt A Caregiver.

Call support group leaders, tell them about my Adopt A Caregiver program, they can give you some names of people who would want to be adopted. They need your help and support.

Give something back, talk about it, get the word out. It does not take much time to write an email, or send a joke.  Make someone smile, let them vent. Let the tears flow.

Caregivers keep their emotions inside, they save their tears for later. They don’t want to talk about it. They also don’t want to be left all alone. Imagine how they feel, especially the younger ones with early onset, they still know what is going on, they understand how their brain feels like a sieve, everything going in at the top, and sifting out through the bottom.That is what my husband always said.

But Alzheimer’s Disease is not contagious. Please help those who are so busy caring for others they have no time to care for themselves.

Adopt A Caregiver.

Word of mouth is potent, let others know about this worthwhile program.

Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene